


Cloud Nine

by JennaLee



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Dildos, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Kink Negotiation, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Oral Sex, Phone Sex, Polyamory, Praise Kink, Service Submission, Spanking, foot stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-02-22 09:13:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 36,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13163841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennaLee/pseuds/JennaLee
Summary: Dan had always thought that long-term relationships weren't for him - that he was just a vanilla guy that liked casual dating and nothing more. With his busy, independent lifestyle, a steady relationship seemed more of a hindrance than anything - and besides, everyone knows that commitment makes Dan itchy.Everything changes when he falls in love with Ross.





	1. Chapter 1

It’s late evening and Dan is sitting in the Grump meeting room, drinking tea with honey to soothe his throat after hours of recording. Arin and most of the guys had gone home ages ago and now Dan was alone, playing on his phone, waiting for Ross. 

Eventually Ross comes out of his office, looking sleepy, blinking in the bright light. His eyes find Dan right away and he lights up. 

“I’m glad you’re still here,” Ross says, happily. He curls up in Dan’s lap like a very large, squirmy, bony cat. His elbow rams into Dan’s stomach. Dan winces in pain, but it’s hard to be mad with the way Ross looks up at him, his little face full of pure admiration.

Dan feels a tug at his heart. When he and Ross had first become involved, Dan didn’t know what to expect. Ross told him that he loved him, but Ross was married, and thus Dan assumed that whatever they had together would be something less serious than what Ross had with Holly. More than friends with benefits, but not quite true love. The same Ross, only with a lot more of Dan’s dick in his mouth. 

What he hadn’t expected was just how deep and sweet Ross’s heart was. There was room in there for him alongside Holly. Ross really did love Dan, in the sappiest purest way anyone could, and he was never ashamed or embarrassed to show it. 

“You have no right to look that innocent,” Dan tells him, all fake-gruff, even as he strokes his fingers through Ross’s hair. It flows through his fingers like silk.

“Why not?” Ross asks plaintively, as if he hadn’t woken Dan up earlier by pulling Dan’s morning wood from the fly of his boxers and lowering himself onto it, his snug hole already dripping wet with lube. 

“Because you’re the physical embodiment of like, four of the deadly sins.”

“Only four?” Ross looks deeply injured. “Which ones am I missing?” 

Dan thinks for a minute, twirling a piece of Ross’s hair around his fingers. “Wrath,” he says eventually, and it’s true. Ross is somehow both the biggest troll in the universe and the sweetest man alive.

“Oh, yeah, alright.” Ross bumps Dan’s hand with his head to urge him to continue the petting. “What else?”

It’s hard to think. It always is, when Ross is around. “I don’t know. I’m Jewish.”

“Do you not have the seven deadly sin thing?”

“I never heard of it, like, besides in mainstream media.”

“They’re not found in the Bible, exactly,” Ross says. “The concept of seven cardinal sins started in Catholicism, in Rome. They’re taken from the Hebrew bible, though. King Solomon. Something like that.”

Dan stares.

Ross shrugs. “I went to Catholic school like a good little Irish boy.”

An image of Ross in a schoolgirl uniform rises to the top of Dan’s brain and he grins, amused at how well Ross would wear such a ridiculous thing.

Ross grins right back. “What? What were you imagining just now?”

“I was thinking of how nice it would be to have this hundred-fifty pound dead weight off my legs so I could feel them again.”

“No, really.” Ross waggles his eyebrows. “Did you know corporal punishment was totally allowed in Western Australia when I was in high school?”

“You mean like…caning?”

Ross brays laughter at Dan’s almost reverent tone. “Not caning. I think the principal had the strap, but I never had it used on me.”

“Really?”

“I was a good boy,” Ross insists, his blue eyes gleaming with mischief.

Dan snorts and gives Ross’s hair a tug. “You mean you never got caught.”

“Same thing.” Ross makes a happy noise and contorts his body even further.

“Ow,” says Dan placidly. It’s not the most comfortable position in the world, but he does like the cuddling.

“Are you into that?” Ross asks suddenly. “Spanking, or caning? Belting?”

Dan frowns. He sees the appeal, sure, but it’s not a huge desire. He’d probably be willing to spank Ross, though maybe not with anything as violent as a belt or any other instrument. “Do _you_ like it?”

“It can be good.” Ross waves a hand dismissively. “You didn’t answer me.”

Dan shrugs. “Do you want me to spank you?”

Ross twists in his lap. “That’s not an answer!”

“But why are you curious?”

“Because!” Ross waves an arm. “Because you never really talk about the things that _you_ like.”

“That’s not true!” Dan protests. “I like everything we do. You know that.”

“I just mean, like…” Ross trails off. Dan looks down at him. Ross has managed to get himself into such a pretzel shape that his head is hanging upside down and Dan can see straight up his nose. Ross cranes his neck downward to look up at Dan, forming about six chins. “I mean like your kinks and stuff. I tell you all of mine and you just sort of go along with them.”

“I don’t have any kinks.”

“Everyone has _something!_ ”

Dan shrugs. “Well, I…I guess I don’t like spanking?”

“Good, that’s good,” Ross encourages. “So what _do_ you like? Like if we had sex, right here, however you wanted, how would it go?”

“Um,” says Dan, looking around him. “It wouldn’t be very fun to do it at work.”

“Nobody’s here.”

“I think Barry’s still here.”

“Barry knows how to knock.”

“Still. He doesn‘t want to hear that.”

“I could be quiet.”

Dan snorts. “You don’t even _sleep_ quietly.”

“Okay,” Ross says, exasperatedly. “What if we were in your bed?”

Dan shrugs again. He does like Ross in his bed, even though Ross is a blanket thief and changes positions every thirty seconds. Dan’s bedroom seemed so big and lonely without Ross there. “Maybe you could, um. Blow me?”

“No, no,” Ross presses, “Blowjobs aren’t a kink. Like maybe you’d want me tied up? Or you could jizz on my face. Or both. Why not both? You can fuck my face and then jizz all over it and tell me I’m a big dirty slut.”

Dan winces at Ross‘s loud voice and looks over at the door to make sure it’s still closed tight.

“Barry’s heard me say a lot worse,” Ross assures. “He won’t judge you.”

Dan rolls his eyes, sighs and pets Ross’s hair some more. “I don’t want to tie you up. Or call you mean names.”

“But I _am_ a big slut.”

“And I don’t wanna force a beej on you.”

“It wouldn’t be _forced_ ,” Ross huffs, but he gets the point. He looks pensive, his thin lips disappearing entirely. Then his forehead smoothes and his face clears. “Maybe you need to think on it for a while and get back to me.”

“I’m pretty sure I don’t have any big kinky secrets, Ross.”

“Not fair. Everyone has _something._ ”

“Well, maybe I don’t. Are you getting bored of me or something?” Dan’s voice comes out much more sharply than he’d meant it to. He regrets it right away but it’s too late to take back. 

Ross is already sliding out of his lap. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I’m sorry.”

Dan chews his lip. “Don’t be. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.”

“I didn’t mean to push you or make you uncomfortable."

“It’s fine.” Was it fine? Dan isn’t sure. He feels faintly anxious. 

Ross can see it. His sad face is heart wrenching. “I’d never get bored of you. I just…you do whatever I want, and I’ve been having fun, but then I realized that I’m always the one initiating things, and maybe…maybe you’re just going along with it to make me happy because you’re a nice person and you love me.”

“It’s not like that at all,” Dan hurries to say. Something glimmers in his mind - it’s true, about Ross always initiating sex, but Dan _likes_ it - he’s never had a girl want so much from him, or who was so bold as to tell him what he should do so frankly. Was it so weird? Dan couldn’t see it any other way. It gets him so hot when Ross’s hands grab at him, push him into the position Ross craves most. His cheeks heat up just thinking about it. “Maybe I just…”

Ross tilts his head at him like a confused puppy. “Maybe you just what?”

Dan shrugs. He‘s over thinking again, probably. “Maybe I just like making love to you. Maybe that’s my kink.”

Ross gives him a long look. “Only you, Danny,” he says, and then they’re kissing, Ross in Dan’s lap again like a little magnet and his arms thrown around Dan’s shoulders. Dan kisses back, overwhelmed as always by the taste of Ross’s lips and ferocious tongue. For all his quirks and whims and idiosyncrasies, Ross is one of the most passionate people Dan’s ever had the fortune of knowing. And Dan, the perennial romantic, was drawn to Ross’s passion like a moth to a flame.

He only breaks the kiss when he hears footsteps approaching. Ross tilts out of his lap and falls to his side just in time before Barry pokes his head in and says, “Hey, Danny, I’m leaving in fifteen - if you could - ”

“Gotta move my car, I know,” Dan says, embarrassed. Ross’s lips are reddened and his chin sports evidence of Dan’s scratchy stubble. Barry’s giving him a faintly embarrassed smile as if to say, _Sorry to interrupt._ Dan makes himself look Barry in the eyes and says, “I’m just heading out myself.”

“Cool. See you tomorrow. Have a good night, guys.”

“Yeah man, you too.” Dan’s voice could pass for casual if it wasn’t followed by a squeak - Ross’s hand had slid under his butt, from an angle Barry couldn’t see. After Barry leaves, Dan shoots a glare of reproach at Ross. Ross returns it with a demure look.

“So voyeurism isn’t your kink, huh?” Ross jokes, leaning close. His lips tickle Dan’s ear.

“Definitely not.”

Ross trails a finger down Dan’s cheek and taps it against his lips. “Then why don’t we go to your place and you get your big dick out for me to suck?”

“Jesus Christ, Ross.” Dan catches Ross’s hand and squeezes it. “And, maybe, I can. Do it to you, too?”

Ross’s face lights up. “Yeah? You want to?”

Dan nods. His mouth goes dry. “Yeah,” he breathes. “Yeah, I really do.” 

It had taken Dan a lot of time and encouragement to feel anywhere near half-confident with his blowjob skills. It was all new and mildly terrifying to Dan, who had never so much as kissed a guy before Ross blew into his life like a hurricane. Having a dick in his mouth had sounded maybe okay at best, mildly unpleasant at the worst - but to his surprise, the first time Ross had asked him to do it, Dan had found that he genuinely enjoyed it. He loved Ross’s voice, the hands in his hair, holding him in place and guiding him further down…

Ross sees the dreaminess on Dan’s face. His devilish little mouth curves into a smirk. He pokes Dan in the side. “Hey. Hey, Danny.” 

“What?”

“Truth or dare?”

Dan squints at him. “Are we really doing this?”

“Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“Sixty-nine,” Ross says promptly.

Dan thinks about it for half a second. “You’re on.”

Ross rolls to his feet, pulling Dan by the arm to get him out the door as fast as he can.

**

Ross doesn’t bring it up again. But Dan thinks about it a lot, especially late at night when he’s alone.

He’d denied it at first. He didn’t want to do anything especially kinky - whips and chains or any of that scary stuff - but Dan can’t help but feel that there _is_ something he wants, something hidden just out of sight. Some desire burning hot in him like smouldering ashes waiting to be stoked into flame.

There’s something about Ross that Dan finds irresistible. Ross gets him so worked up that Dan can come twice or more in a night with him. And it’s more than Ross’s enthusiasm and his love for Dan’s dick, the way he could swallow down all eight inches of it without choking. Although Dan liked those parts too. 

Dan digs deeper. He’s always admired Ross, even before the crush, before their new relationship. Ross is a ball of energy - too much for some people to handle, at times - but when it comes to his passions and hobbies, he knows how to gather that energy and focus it down to a laser-like precision. Ross is bold, and deceptively strong; most people don’t see the strength at first, hidden behind the boyish face. Ross knows what he wants and how to get it, in all aspects of his life. 

Dan smiles to himself. The bedroom is no different. Dan may be doing the fucking, but Ross is always in charge. 

That thought sends a little humming current down his spine. Dan’s putty in Ross’s hands and he knows it. He likes it, the power Ross has over him, the way he takes what he wants but never dares push Dan’s limits. Dan flushes to remember Ross’s boldness, the way he practically ordered Dan to take out his dick and then pushed him onto the couch and climbed on for a ride. Dan gasping, the zipper of his jeans digging into him uncomfortably, Ross’s weight making him feel pinned in place and helpless -

Dan notices, with a start, that he’s fully hard in his pants. He opens his eyes in the dark and cups himself, gasping at the heat and heaviness, the wet spot on the front of his boxers.

 _If we had sex, right here, however you wanted, how would it go?_ Ross had asked brightly, and Dan hadn’t known how to answer.

Dan flings the covers aside and pulls himself from his boxers. If Ross were here, in his bed, he’d tell Dan to take it out and let him see. If Dan tried to intervene, Ross would bat his hand away if he had other ideas in mind - or, if he wanted to watch, he’d waste no time in telling Dan exactly what he wanted to see, how Dan should touch himself. 

He tries to start slow like usual, but he can’t. Ross wouldn’t want him to. Dan’s hips buck, his lips curling around the _R_ of _Ross_ , but all that comes out is a whine. All he wants, all he ever wants, is to make it good for Ross, for all of the partners he’s ever had. If it’s good for them, it’s good for Dan. There’s never been anything hotter to him than his partner just _using_ him, not cruelly but in passion, just wanting his dick or his mouth to play with in pursuit of their own orgasm. And maybe there’s more, maybe it’s not just about sex - like when Ross patted him on the butt and told him to go make breakfast, _that_ was exciting, too. 

Dan bites his lip, muffling a whimper as his hand speeds up. He wonders if he should tell Ross, or if Ross already knows. And exactly what would he tell him? That he wants to be used, controlled? That he wants to - submit?

Dan’s breath catches and his hand stills for a moment. That word is fraught with meaning. He’s not sure if it’s the right word to use at all. Dan’s always been the one doing the fucking, after all. And Ross had been very frank about his love of getting fucked. Admittedly, Dan’s not an expert when it comes to sex terms, but he doesn’t think _dominant_ describes Ross. Well, then again, Dan’s not sure if the English language even contains a word that would come close to describing Ross. 

Although…Ross _had_ been eager to try to expand Dan’s horizons. And Dan had been initially enthusiastic. Probably because he’d just gotten his dick sucked when Ross had brought it up, which generally made Dan enthusiastic about anything. But the first time Ross had brought out a little toy - the smallest dildo, just bigger than a finger, smooth and plain and unthreatening - Dan had shaken his head, his heart shooting up into his throat.

“No,” he’d said, quietly, disappointed in himself and hoping Ross wouldn’t be disappointed, too. Likely Ross had bought it just for him - Dan couldn’t see the self-proclaimed size queen owning such a tiny toy.

Dan couldn’t help but feel like he’d led Ross on during their first encounter, when he’d been so swept away by Ross’s dirty mouth.

But Ross had just nodded easily, slipping the toy back into the drawer and soothing Dan’s worried face with little butterfly kisses.

And he’d never brought it up again. He was reserved in bed that night, quiet but for his low moans. He demanded nothing of Dan. He just let Dan get on top of him, missionary-style, lying back against the pillows and held onto Dan’s upper arms as Dan rocked his hips into him. It was nice, but their usual spark was curiously absent.

Truthfully, Dan doesn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. There’s so much shame and internalized homophobia buried in his mind, even though he’s come to terms with his attraction to Ross. There’s fear, too. Fear of the unknown, and of pain. He has no real desire to play with himself in that way and probably won’t ever do it.

But maybe, if Ross asked again - or, rather, if Ross _told_ him to bend over, or get on all fours, and just pushed his slim fingers inside…

Dan’s toes curl and his back arches. His moan is sharp and loud in the silence of his lonely bedroom. He squeezes himself, skates his palm over the tip to collect some pre-come, get everything nice and slick. When that’s not enough he remembers the lube on his nightstand. He hadn’t always kept lube on his nightstand, but he’d learned it was generally a good idea while dating Ross.

The room fills with the slick sound of his hand sliding up and down. Dan’s thoughts blur into a montage of Ross. Ross’s laugh, Ross’s sure hands on him, Ross telling him what to do and how to fuck him, or maybe getting out that toy again - but this time, instead of asking, maybe he’d just turn Dan over and slip it in, because he wants to see -

Dan comes with a shout, spilling thick pearlescent come over his own fingers. When his body stops twitching with aftershocks he reaches over to grab Kleenex from the nightstand to clean himself up. He’s a little shocked at himself, blushing as if someone might read his thoughts. 

He’s too sleepy to overanalyze things now. The post-orgasm exhaustion hits him like a brick wall. Dan embraces it, feeling pleasantly sated. 

He misses having Ross’s warm body curled up next to him, but there was always the weekend - and the anticipation was sometimes just as sweet.

**

Dan’s phone buzzes in his pocket as he settles comfortably into his seat on the Grump couch, adjusting the boom mic as Arin curses at a pile of tangled N64 controller cables. When it buzzes three more times in rapid succession Dan knows it’s Ross. He digs a hand beneath the blanket covering his lap - it’s room temperature in the Grump room, which means Dan is cold - and tries to fish his phone out absentmindedly. He’s distracted by Arin’s colourful insults.

“Fuck it.” Arin finally rocks back on his heels and drops the cables. “We have an extra one somewhere. I’ll go find it.”

“Go ahead,” Dan says cheerily. “I’m just gonna text Ross back.”

Dan finally finds his phone just as Arin leaves. Dan’s already smiling, expecting Ross’s usual bombardment of flirtatious texts. They hadn’t seen each other in four days now. To Ross, that was about a year. Dan expects something cheesy, maybe mildly suggestive, maybe a blatant request for Dan to come over and get naked.

What he’s not expecting is a mirror selfie of Ross in white cotton panties, the sheer fabric leaving nothing to the imagination. 

Dan stares, his mouth falling open, his heart beginning to gallop in his chest. Ross’s dick is fully hard and its rosy head peeks out from the waistband. The shine at the tip, a little bit of wetness - Ross always leaked a lot, he was a messy motherfucker - makes Dan’s breath catch in his chest. He can practically taste it, the salty-musky-sweetness of him, the velvet glide of the shaft between his lips.

_Missed you Danny_  
These are for u  
_The panties_  
_I mean theyre for me to wear but I’m wearing them for you_  
_Unless you wanna wear them bc that’s good too_  
_Mmmm_

Dan struggles to make his clumsy fingers work. He texts, _Holy shit Ross_.

_do you like them???_

Dan thinks _like_ is a terribly bland word to describe the way he feels - like he’d just gotten hit with a truck. But he sends back, _Yes!!!_ and adds a dorky smiley face.

_Come on Danny  
Come home and fuck me_

“Oh my God,” Dan mutters out loud. His fingers shake as he texts back.

_Recording for the next 2 or 3 hrs. Can you wait?_

Ross’s reply comes a nanosecond later.

_no I’m gonna die._

_You’re not gonna die_

_I am._

_Just jerk off or something?_

_Listen danny  
Go to the bathroom n send me a pic of you_

Ross probably didn’t mean it as a command, but Dan swallows hard, suddenly enraptured by the idea of Ross casually ordering him into stripping down and taking lewd pictures, demanding certain poses and angles, heedless of the fact that Dan was at work - just totally focused only on what suited his own needs. And Dan, existing only to please him, giving him what he wants. The image sticks in his brain and Dan forgets to text back. He zones out and lets his eyes glaze over as he thinks of the time Ross grabbed his hair and yanked his head down between his legs to eat his ass.

Ross is evidently tired of waiting over two minutes for Dan to reply. Dan sees his screen change, sees Ross’s name come up in big letters, just before his ringtone goes off.

“Hello?” 

“Why do you always sound like you don't know who this is?” Ross demands immediately.

Dan lets out all his breath with a nervous laugh. “Doesn’t everybody say _hello_ when they pick up a phone?”

“Yeah, but you make it a question,” explains Ross.

“Habit, I guess. We didn’t all have caller ID phones when we were growing up.”

“You know what I hate?”

Dan patiently accepts Ross’s non-sequitur. “What do you hate, Ross?”

“When someone calls you and you go ‘hello’ but then _they_ go ‘hello?’ right back as if they’re wondering who you are when they literally _just called you_.”

“Do a lot of people do that to you?” Dan wonders.

Ross is apparently done talking about phones. “So what do you think about my panties?”

Dan chokes on his sip of water and coughs for a good fifteen seconds. “I, um. I. Fuck.”

“I’m still wearing them.”

“Fuck, Ross.”

Ross’s silvery laugh makes Dan’s dick twitch. “I want that, too.”

“Want what?”

“Want you to fuck me. You’re going to come here right after work.”

Dan’s dick twitches again. “I am?”

“Yeah, you are. No stopping at your place. You have everything you need here. And when you get here, you’re gonna take off your pants and lay down on my bed.”

“Do I get a kiss at least?” Dan jokes over the sound of his own heart roaring in his ears.

“Yeah, sure, after I sit on your dick. Speaking of your dick, where’s my picture?” 

“Your picture?”

“Of your dick!”

“Why do you need a dick pic so bad? You know what it looks like!”

Too late he notices Arin’s shadow falling across the far wall. Arin’s in the doorway, a brand new controller in his hand and a mixture of horror and amusement on his face.

“Ross,” he calls loudly, “stop pestering Dan.”

Ross’s obnoxious cackle bursts through the phone. Dan, red-faced, blurts, “Love you Ross,” because he can’t _not_ remind him of that, even when Ross is at his worst, and ends the call. 

Arin laughs again, but doesn’t give Dan too hard of a time. He can see Dan’s embarrassment and knows him too well to rub salt in it. 

“Found the controller,” he says blandly, waving it like Dan can’t see it. 

Dan relaxes a fraction of an inch at Arin’s soothing voice. His brain still feels like scrambled eggs. “Good,” he says stupidly. “That’s really good.”

Arin hides his smirk as he ambles over to the couch to sit beside Dan. Dan, unprepared, slides alarmingly to the side as Arin’s weight makes the couch dip slightly. Dan’s brain is still very much stuck on the thought of Ross, alone, waiting for him - waiting to use him and order him around, all while wearing those stupid ridiculous too-small panties that shouldn’t even be that sexy.

“Hey, space case.” Arin waves a hand in front of Dan’s face. “I said, you wanna be top or bottom?”

Dan splutters. “Excuse me?”

“The screen, you idiot. Player one or player two?”

“Oh!” Dan scrubs his face, embarrassed. “I, um. I. It’s. It’s not important. I don’t - ”

Arin snorts and sets a controller in Dan’s lap. “You’re the bottom. Deal with it.”

“Oh,” Dan says, very faintly. “Yeah, that’s cool. What are we playing again?”

“I think I need to have a talk with Ross about bothering you at work,” Arin laughs. “Do you need to take a break or something? Deal with that massive boner?”

“I do not have a boner,” Dan says indignantly. Which is true. It’s more of a semi. “And Ross is fine. We’re fine. He’s just…”

“A persistent little shit?”

Dan nods. “He just doesn’t stop until he gets what he wants.”

Arin lets out all his breath at once and hesitates. His fingers drum on his thigh as he regards Dan with a serious expression. “Okay, I know this is probably way off base, but I kind of have to ask - you’re not like, actually uncomfortable with that, are you? Because Ross doesn’t _get_ that other people aren’t wired like him. He doesn’t mean to be controlling all the time. He’s just, you know, intense. You just have to be firm with him and tell him no.”

“Oh, I know.” Dan’s colour is rushing back to his face. “No, it’s fine! I, um, I sort of. I like when he tells me what to do. It’s kind of. Hot.” 

Arin bursts into a cackle that’s almost like Ross’s gremlin laugh. “Jesus, really? You let Ross dom you?”

“No!” Dan almost shouts, mortified that Arin had cut to the heart of it so quickly. “No, it’s not like that, I don’t think. He can’t be a dom. He’s not even, you know, on top when we - well, sometimes he’s on top of me, but, he’s still not the one doing the - ”

Arin twists his face up and looks mildly horrified. “That mental image was - wow, okay, yeah.” 

Dan bites his lip, looking crestfallen. “I didn’t mean to be inappropriate.”

“No, it’s fine. We’re friends. We can talk about that stuff. Shit, I’ve gotten way more TMI about my sex life. Just, you guys are like my brothers, you know?”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m not gonna judge your bedroom shenanigans. You know I support you guys. But you do know that - uh - who’s being penetrated has nothing to do with who’s a dom and who’s a sub?”

“Really?”

The look Arin gives him is a mix of pity and confusion. His lips twitch like he wants to laugh again, but he strains to look sober. “Dan. Haven’t you two, uh, talked about this stuff with each other?”

“Well,” Dan hesitates. There aren’t many people that Dan would trust with intimate details like this. He’s glad to have a friend like Arin. “I want to, but I’m still trying to figure stuff out. I only just recently realized that what I like about - being with him, like that - is that he’s really confident in bed and takes the lead and initiates everything. He asks for exactly what he wants and I like giving it to him. He’s bossy but he would never hurt me and I trust him so it‘s just - nice. Being bossed around, and almost, used. But in a good way.”

Arin’s grin puts Dan at ease. “Shit, yeah, I know what you mean, dude. I can get into that. What made you start thinking about this?”

“Ross asked me if I had any kinks or like, hidden desires, because he was worried that I wasn’t enjoying sex as much as he does,” Dan explains. “Because he always initiates it.”

“And what did you say?”

Dan shrugs one shoulder. “I didn’t really think about it, you know? When someone says _kink_ , I think of stuff like handcuffs and whips and choking. Crazy stuff.”

“Handcuffs and choking are what you call ‘crazy’?”

“Well yeah,” Dan laughs. It cuts off abruptly when he sees Arin’s eyebrows raise and his mouth curl into a sly knowing smirk. Dan’s mouth drops open. “Wait, are _you_ \- ?”

“I like choking,” Arin says pensively. “Being choked, I mean.”

“ _What!_ Why? Isn’t that dangerous?”

“There’s safe ways to do it,” Arin says calmly, watching Dan flail. 

“It would scare me too much,” Dan declares. “I like breathing.”

“What if Ross ordered you to choke him?” Arin asks, totally casual.

“Well - I - ” Dan flounders. “Maybe, lightly? I wouldn’t want to hurt him. God, you could kill somebody, doing that!”

“Ross is like a cockroach. I doubt he dies that easily.”

“Still!”

“Alright, alright,” Arin grins. “The point is, you like being submissive, yeah? That’s still in the realm of, uh, kinkdom. Maybe you’re just a sensitive sub who wants to sub gently.”

“Yeah,” Dan says, encouraged. “That sounds good. I don’t want to be, like, tied up and beaten. Or call him sir, or Master, or whatever they do.”

“What about _Daddy?_ ” Arin’s grin widens.

Dan shudders. “Please no.”

“I get you. That word creeps me out a little, too. But Dan, listen to me, alright?” Arin sets the controller down and looks serious. “This is what you gotta do.”

Dan perks up and gives Arin his full attention. Arin’s good at this kind of stuff - knowing about real fetish things. Dan’s not completely naïve; he knows that there are people who do the dom and sub thing as a sort of lifestyle and he knows there’s clubs and places to go to hang out with other people who are into the same thing and learn about stuff like Japanese rope bondage. “I’m listening.”

“There’s no set definition on what submissive means, okay? It doesn’t have to mean whips and dungeons and pain. You just need to figure out your boundaries, what you want and don’t want. And Ross is obviously eager to make you happy. So sit down with him, and have a good serious talk about it. Figure out what you’re both into. Try some stuff out, safely. And if you’re not into butt stuff, and he is, that’s cool. Doms can be bottoms.”

“Oh!” Dan breaks in excitedly. “Is that what power bottom means?”

Arin’s composure breaks and his face spasms. Hastily, he turns away to sip his water. When he turns back he says, “Yes, Danny. Yes, that is what a power bottom is.”

“And what if I - ” Dan stops himself.

“What if you what?”

Dan hesitates, but ultimately pushes on. How many times had Arin casually mentioned liking butt stuff himself? If Arin could be confident and just say it, Dan could too. “What if I maybe want to do, um. To be on the bottom, but I just need to be given a little, um, push?”

“Like you want him to make you do it but not actually force you to?”

“Yeah.” Dan swallows. It sounds so thrilling when Arin phrases it like that. He’s grateful that Arin isn’t laughing at him right now. “Is that weird?”

“Nothing about sex is weird. At least no weirder than any other part. But that’s definitely something you two need to talk about. He needs to know when to push you and when you want to stop.”

“Like making a safe word?”

“Generally a good idea. Even better if you maybe go over a scene that you’d like, before it happens.”

It all sounded very serious and very logical. Dan’s excited to have a real plan. He just needs to figure out exactly what he wants, have a good long think about all the fleeting fantasies he’s had, the thrills that zing down his spine when Ross gets that bossy tone in his voice. 

“Thanks, Arin.” Dan hugs him. “You’ve been a big help.”

“No problem. I’m glad to help you on your big gay journey.”

Dan snorts and gives his shoulder a shove. “It’s not a _journey._ I’ve already arrived at my destination.”

They both break into giggles. Then Dan’s phone starts to explode again, buzzing so hard that it spins in a complete circle. 

“Answer him quick. I’m gonna turn on the mics. Prepare to be fuckin’ ass-blasted by Xenia.” Arin gets up with a grunt and turns on the N64.

Dan looks at the screen as the familiar theme plays. “Oh! It’s the James Bond game! I’m good at this.”

Arin raises an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yes, really. Why do you doubt my skills? I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“Oh, Daniel,” Arin sighs theatrically. “You are going _down._ ”

“Bring it on,” Dan says cheerfully. To his surprise, Ross hadn’t sent him any more lewd pictures. Instead he’s sent, _Can’t wait for you to come over. Love you. Bring tacos and milk please._ And then, as an afterthought, the eggplant emoji.

Dan sends back a kissy face and a heart and picks up his controller with a grin.

**

They don’t talk about it that night. 

Dan is still recovering from his illness and tires easily. Recording was fun, and afterward he’s happy just to go to Ross’s place - with tacos and milk - and cuddle up with him on the couch. 

Ross isn’t disappointed with him. When he sees Dan’s tired face and reddened eyes, his licentiousness melts away and he goes into his mother hen mode. Dan finds himself with a mug of homegrown lavender tea in his hands as Ross runs upstairs to grab a comfy pillow to put in his lap so Dan can lean back on the couch while Ross plays with his hair. Dan drinks his tea and stares at Ross whenever he thinks Ross isn’t looking, feeling soft and mellow and content.

In the morning, they come close. They spend a long time lazing around in bed, waking up slowly, enjoying the time they have together. Ross discovers the ticklish spot on the back of Dan’s knee and immediately tries to roll him over and pin him down. Laughing, Dan starts to struggle, and the way Ross leans his weight on him and pushes him into the mattress is way too good. 

“Ross,” he gasps as Ross swings a leg over his back and straddles him, facing his feet.

“Got you now,” Ross taunts, reaching for Dan’s knee-pits. “What are you gonna do about it?”

Dan shouts and twists, bending his calves back to push Ross’s hands away. Ross laughs and leans forward to pin Dan’s ankles down. 

“No, no, Ross, ah!” Dan’s giggling and his dick is starting to become uncomfortably big, pressed into the mattress like this. “Ross, please!”

“If you can stop laughing for ten seconds I swear I’ll stop.”

Dan tries. He lasts three. “Fucking - goddammit Ross! That’s impossible!”

“Turn off the tickle switch. Master your mind,” Ross tells him wisely, as he continues to cheerfully scrabble his fingers into Dan’s knee.

“I can’t!”

“Then just be a good boy and take it.”

He’s obviously joking and his tone is light-hearted but the words make Dan freeze. Ross misinterprets and hastily lifts his weight off Dan’s back with a rushed, “Sorry, sorry, was that hurting your back?”

“A little,” Dan says breathlessly, grateful that it’s only half a lie. He arcs his hips up from the bed and wriggles, trying to subtly adjust his boner. Ross’s eyes crinkle up at the corners as he starts to smile. Dan, fearing Ross is close to figuring him out, panics. He feigns renewed interest in the tickle fight and reaches out to grab Ross’s foot.

Ross splays all his toes out like a hand and laughs his gremlin laugh when Dan looks astonished. “I’m a man of many talents,” he informs Dan proudly. 

“You’re just a man with weird feet, I think.”

“They’re not weird,” Ross counters. “They’re pretty.”

“Feet can’t be pretty,” Dan says, but it’s sort of true. If a foot could be said to be pretty, Ross’s feet most certainly were. 

“I like having my toes sucked on,” Ross offers. The expression on Dan’s face makes him laugh again. “Some people are into it.”

“Like a foot fetish?” Dan ventures timidly.

Ross shrugs and wiggles his toes. 

“I don’t get foot fetishes,” Dan says, staring at them. “It’s supposed to be one of the most common fetishes, but, it’s just a foot, you know?”

“I could give you a foot job,” Ross offers, his eyes sparkling with mirth. Dan opens his mouth to politely decline and Ross breaks into his gremlin laugh. “I’m kidding, Danny. You’re vanilla but vanilla is still tasty. It’s okay if you don’t have any kinks. You’re cute and you’ve got an eight-and-a-half inch dick.”

Dan blushes at Ross’s compliments. He feels encouraged. “Actually,” he begins slowly, and that’s all it takes for Ross’s mouth to drop open.

“You _do_ have a kink after all?”

“It’s complicated,” explains Dan, “and it’s not so much a _kink_ \- more like just a thing that I maybe want to explore, but - ”

Ross rolls right off the bed and hits the floor with a thump. Dan sits up, alarmed. “Are you okay?”

Ross is already bouncing to his feet. “So, what is it? Tell me!”

Dan frowns. Now that the moment is here, he feels totally unprepared. “I told you, it’s complicated. It’ll take a while. I don‘t know if I’m ready to talk about it.”

“That’s okay, oh my God, it’s totally okay!” Ross rocks on his heels. “I’m patient. I’m so patient.”

“No, you’re not.” 

“Well, maybe not in general. But I’m patient right now.”

“Good,” Dan says, a little doubtfully. “Because I need more time to articulate myself.”

“Take all the time you need!” Ross assures him. He’s practically _vibrating._ “Why didn’t you say anything the first time I asked you?”

“I didn’t know about it then,” explains Dan. “I was thinking of you one night and - ”

“Were you jerking off?”

“Yes,” Dan says exasperatedly. “I was jerking off, thinking of you, and - ”

“That’s so hot,” Ross breaks in eagerly. “You think of me when you jack it?”

“Well, you are my, um, my boyfriend,” Dan manages to say without his voice cracking. “Who else would I think about?”

Ross’s grin softens and he flops on the bed again beside Dan. He snuggles up against Dan’s side and presses a damp kiss to his cheek. 

Pleased and flustered, Dan continues. “Anyway, I was, um, thinking about some stuff that you did that I liked, and then I wondered why I liked it so much, and I just, got to thinking more, and then I talked to Arin and - ”

“You told _Arin_?”

“Not exactly. He figured it out on his own.”

“It’s that obvious?” Ross studies Dan’s face like there‘s a clue written there plainly. “Wait, was it the panties? When I said you could wear them? Do you have a thing for maybe trying it yourself and keeping it a secret so you could go into work with like, pretty lace panties on under your baggy-ass guy clothes and feel your dick just rubbing against the lace all day or you go into the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror and feel so pretty and nobody knows and that‘s exhilarating because - ”

Dan puts a hand over Ross’s mouth. “No,” he says gently. “I don’t want to wear your panties to work to feel pretty. That sounds kind of uncomfortable. You looked really nice in them, though.”

Ross licks Dan’s palm. 

“Ew, Ross.” Dan takes his hand away and Ross makes a big show of gasping for breath.

“Was it the picture itself? Would you be into us making like, a sex tape?”

“I have zero desire to join the ranks of celebrities and public figures with leaked sex tapes.”

“Well, we wouldn’t leak it,” Ross says like it’s obvious. 

“What would we do with it?”

“Watch it together?”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“Okay, alright,” Ross is defeated. Then he perks up again. “Hey, is it - ”

Dan covers Ross’s mouth again. “No more guesses. I said I need time, okay?”

“I just want to make you happy,” Ross says when Dan lets him go. He nuzzles Dan’s neck and gives it a kiss, all sugar and spice now. “I want to give you the best sex you’ve ever had.” 

“But you already do,” Dan says, all earnest and confused. 

“Yeah?” Ross’s back straightens proudly. 

Dan kisses him on the eyebrow. “Yeah. You’re amazing, Ross.”

“You sappy fuck.” But Ross ducks his head, his smile turning almost shy. “I love you, Danny.”

“Who’s the sappy fuck now?” Dan opens his arms and Ross throws himself into them, hard enough to knock the wind out of Dan. But Dan’s smiling too. He lets Ross push him back onto the bed and holds him tight, loving the way he can feel Ross’s heart beat against his own. “I love you too.”

Ross makes a contented noise and buries his face in Dan’s hair. Dan’s eyes fall shut and he drifts, enjoying the lazy morning and Ross’s company. Maybe he still has a few things to figure out, but right now Dan knows everything will work out in the end when Ross is by his side.


	2. Chapter 2

“What the hell is Ross doing?” Brian asks Dan one day in the meeting room.

Several loud bangs echo from the general direction of Ross’s office, followed by shrieking laughter. Dan can pick out Matt and Ryan’s voices, and, at about twice the volume, Ross’s gremlin cackle.

Dan’s used to the ruckus. “Why are you asking me?”

“He’s sort of your responsibility now,” Brian lifts an eyebrow. “You seem to be the only one that can tame the wild Ross.”

“The wild Ross moves rapidly and without logical course,” Dan says. “I don’t know what he’s doing. I’m sure I’ll hear all about it soon. We have a date tonight.”

Brian acknowledges his quick wit with a little smile and a tip of his chin, then says, “You’re spending a lot of time together lately.”

“Yeah,” Dan says, wondering if Brian’s light tone was genuine or over-careful. “Our schedules have both loosened up recently. And Holly’s dating someone new, and they’re allergic to cats so Holly can never have them over. Ross has the place to himself a lot. Sometimes if he knows I’m here he’ll come pick me up.”

Brian had been the last person Dan told about his dating Ross, and while Brian hadn’t been angry, exactly, there’d been some puzzlement and hurt. Dan hadn’t avoided Brian because he didn’t trust the man - god, he trusted Brian more than nearly anybody - but because Brian was fucking _smart_ , and protective of Dan. Dan hadn’t been sure if Brian was going to approve of Dan being the third wheel to a married person. He knew damn well that Dan’s heart was delicate, and Ross could sometimes be about as sensitive as a blind and deaf rhinoceros in a glass museum. 

But Brian looks at Dan’s laptop, where the background image is set to a candid shot of Dan and Ross, taken by Holly, in their backyard pool. Brian’s eyes soften at Dan. “He’s good for you, isn’t he?” 

Dan smiles. “Yeah, he is. I love him. He’s just so…” He gropes for a word. _Amazing_ doesn’t cover it. “He’s so…”

Something shatters loudly, followed by Arin’s yell of “Goddamn it, Ross!”

“He’s sure something,” Brian says dryly.

Dan waits tensely until he hears laughter again, wanting to be sure that Ross is okay. When it comes, he relaxes. “Well, sometimes he’s kind of a handful,” he admits. “But he just has such a big heart. I think I’m really in love with him.”

“I’m happy for you, man,” says Brian, comfortably. “It’s exactly the kind of relationship you’ve been looking for, isn’t it? Romance without the commitment of a monogamous life partner.”

Dan smiles. Brian knows him so well. “Exactly. And nobody has made a big deal out of the whole, um, suddenly-into-guys thing.”

Brian just shrugs. “That’s because it’s not a big deal.”

Dan, more pleased than he lets on, follows Brian to his desk like a duckling and pulls up the chair beside him. Brian liked to work alone but rarely had any objection to Dan’s presence. This time is no different. Brian just tilts his monitor toward Dan like he’d been invited and says, “Maybe you could tell me your opinion on what I have so far.”

Dan leans forward with his elbows on the desk, his chin in his hands, watching Brian pull up the new music he’d been tinkering with. His eyes grow glazed as Ross continues to float through his thoughts - Ross with his easy confidence and jittery energy, how his smiles take over his entire face. And then Dan’s wandering mind delves deeper, thinking of the surprising strength in Ross’s arms when he manhandled Dan onto the bed -

A noise intrudes. Dan jerks back to reality with a start and looks at Brian, who’s staring at him with a half-amused, half-exasperated look. 

“What?”

“I said your name twice,” Brian motions to the screen. “I said what do you think of this part?” 

“Um,” Dan flushes. “It’s good?”

“Something on your mind?”

“What?”

“You still look like you’re on another planet.” Brian’s not mad, just sincerely curious. “Is there something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, just - thinking about, um, stuff.” Dan wants to roll his eyes at himself. He takes his elbows off the desk and straightens his back, giving himself a mental shake. “It’s fine. I’ll figure it out. It’s, um, not really work-appropriate to talk about.”

“What exactly is ‘work-appropriate’ when we sit around coming up with dick jokes all day?” Brian asks dryly.

He has a point. It’s just Brian, after all. Like Arin, he isn’t afraid of TMI. And that gives Dan an idea. They’re in relative privacy - Matt, Ryan, Arin and Ross are all loudly pre-occupied. Dan plunges forward. 

“Brian, do you know a lot about, um, dom-sub stuff?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You know, like, um,” Dan steeples his fingers. “Not violence and sex dungeons but maybe, like….someone wanting to be ordered around and made to do stuff?”

Brian absorbs this with a calculating look on his face and doesn’t beat around the bush. “What do you mean exactly? Wanting to be made to do sexual things in the bedroom only, or lifestyle dom-sub relationships, or service submission?”

“What’s service submission?”

“It’s exactly what it sounds like. A person providing services to their dominant partner.”

“Like French maids or something?” Dan thinks about that. Ross would probably get a kick out of it, although he’d probably find it funny, not sexy.

Brian shakes his head. “You don’t really see a lot of real service submission in porn, Dan. At least, not mainstream porn.”

“Oh. So is it like…actually doing chores and stuff?”

“It could be chores, like cooking and cleaning. Could be business services. Anything where the submissive is providing a service or resource.”

Dan stares at Brian with wide eyes. “But there’s still sex involved?” 

“Sometimes. It all depends. Both partners should be clear on what they’re looking for and what they will provide and what kind of romantic or sexual relationship they want.”

“I don’t mind doing chores,” Dan reflects. “I just don’t see how it could be very exciting for Ross.” 

Brian laughs.

Dan crosses his arms defensively. “What?”

“Sorry,” Brian manages. “Just - you let Ross dom you?”

“Why does everyone think that’s so funny?” Dan demands. 

“Because,” Brian says, “it’s _Ross._ ”

Dan scowls. “Did you think it would be the other way around? Have _you_ ever tried telling Ross what to do?”

“Alright, that’s a fair point,” Brian admits. “I’m sorry for laughing.” He takes a moment and visibly works at returning to a straight face. “So, ah - are you asking me for advice because he wants to have a more serious dom-sub relationship with you?” 

“Not exactly,” Dan admits. “We haven’t really done anything serious, or, um, even talked about it at all.”

“So _you_ want him to take charge.”

Dan wrinkles his nose. “Well, not all the time. I’m not really into the whole idea of doing it as a lifestyle.”

“So, bedroom only. Play stuff.”

“I guess,” Dan says again, uncertainly.

“Maybe you should think about what exactly you want before jumping into something like this.” Brian’s tone is gentle to soften the blow.

“I know what I want,” Dan says, a little indignant. “I just - it all seems so intimidating - and I don’t really like pain and - and what if it’s not what Ross wants?”

“You can ask what Ross wants,” Brian waves a hand to dismiss that. “He’s not exactly shy, is he?”

Dan has to laugh. “I guess not.”

“But back to the intimidating part - what exactly do you find intimidating?”

“There’s just so _much_ ,” Dan explains. It had seemed so easy when he talked to Arin, but when Dan actually sat down and thought about it, he couldn’t keep his ideas straight. There was a _lot_ he’d be willing to do for Ross, if it would make Ross happy. “I thought I could just make a list of things that I wanted to try, but it turns out maybe I’m more open-minded than I thought?”

“Maybe start with your hard limits,” Brian suggests.

“Hard limits? You mean like things I absolutely don’t want to do, right?” Dan’s pretty proud of his research.

“Exactly.”

“I think mine are obvious,” Dan reflects, thinking of some of the more extreme things he’s heard about.

“What’s obvious to you may not be obvious to him,” Brian points out. “It’s a good place to start. From there you can think about the things that are _probably_ not for you. If you sit down and talk with Ross and maybe exchange a few things that are a definite yes - and you can keep going until you discover something in common.”

“He likes his toes being licked,” Dan offers, and immediately feels a warmth rush to his cheeks. He’d thought about it more than once since Ross had said it.

Brian blinks once. “Alright,” he says slowly. “How did that come up? Were you - ”

“I wasn’t licking his feet! I just grabbed one because we were tickling each other.”

“Well, do you _want_ to lick his feet?” Brian asks, totally deadpan.

“I - what? No!” Dan squirms as Brian’s laser-like stare impales him, pinning him in place. There’s no dodging Brian’s questions. The thing about Brian is that somehow he always manages to cut through the bullshit, no matter how long it takes. He’s incredibly, almost inhumanely, patient. And he doesn’t even have to _do_ anything for Dan to want to spill his guts. He just has to look at Dan with those cool eyes and wait. If it were anyone else - Arin or Barry or Joe back home or even Ross - Dan’s spluttered denial would be accepted at face value.

As always, Dan breaks. “It’s not that I want to because I like feet. But if maybe he was - making me do it or putting his feet on my face - or…” His voice fails him. He looks quickly up at Brian, and finds courage in his placid unjudging face. “Making me kneel down and lick them when he’s standing up or sitting on the couch with me on the floor…” 

Brian doesn’t even blink this time. “That’s not so uncommon. So you like the humiliation.”

“Yeah.” It’s easy to be blunt now that it’s out, and Brian still isn’t judging. “That, and just, doing things that make someone else happy - things that aren’t gross or painful, at least. I think that’s why I’m having a hard time trying to talk to Ross about it, because I don’t even know what one thing I’d like most. It’s really dependent on him. But, I don’t want him to do it just because it’s something I want to try. And he’s always so eager to make me feel good. I feel like he’d jump all over the idea and just start trying to act the way I want, regardless of what _he_ likes. And I don’t want that. I don’t want to pressure him.”

Brian absorbs this, then says, “I understand, but it doesn’t work like that. He has to know. He won’t do any of that shit unless you’re able to tell him what you want. At least, he needs to know the options he has - the things you’re definitely okay with - and work from there.”

“Talking to him sounded easier in theory when I brought this up with Arin,” reflects Dan, shoving a hand through his hair. “It’s not that Ross is hard to talk to, it’s just…”

“You’re afraid of fucking up a good thing?”

“Jesus, Brian.” Dan’s startled at the simple truth of it. It had been staring him in the face the whole time and Dan hadn’t even realized it. “Yeah, that makes sense. Sometimes it’s like Ross is too good to be true. I mean, we’ve been friends for how many years? And then in the course of a week I’m suddenly, fuckin’ - I don’t know, _falling in love_ sounds cliché but - I really did fall. It was all at once. I had some pretty deeply hidden feelings and then he kissed me and I realized how much he meant to me and how much I wanted him. It’s already all so new, being with another guy. I love what we have and I don’t want things to change. It’s like looking a gift horse in the mouth.”

“Experimenting in the bedroom is hardly going to change your relationship.”

“But the stuff online - ” Dan flails an arm. 

“What stuff online? Please don’t tell me you’re reading someone’s exaggerated lifestyle BDSM blog and thinking that’s how everybody does it.”

“With the rules and like, collaring and punishments and doing humiliating stuff in public - ”

Brian’s eyebrows rise. “Yeah, you’ve been reading someone’s kinky blog.”

“Okay, that’s an extreme example, it’s more the idea of having all these rules about how two people are supposed to act in a proper dom-sub relationship - ”

“There’s no such thing as a ‘proper relationship’ as long as both people are consenting adults, Dan.”

“I guess I know that.” Dan scratches the back of his neck, feeling embarrassed. “Maybe I’m just not used to all these new ideas. I always thought that I knew what I was doing and what I liked - I mean, I’m almost forty. I‘ve been calling myself vanilla my whole life.”

“Your age is irrelevant. Sexuality isn’t something that you just figure out all at once.” Brian touches the back of Dan’s hand. “Just go for it. Be bold. Ross would give you the world and you know it and nothing will faze him. As a married man, I can assure you that trying new things in the bedroom is almost always a positive thing for yourself, your partner, and the health of your relationship.”

“See, now it sounds easy again,” Dan complains, running a hand through his hair. “In theory, everything is fine and simple. But then real life happens and I don’t know what to do.”

“Big mood,” comes a familiar voice behind them. In the reflection of the monitor Dan can see Ross swaggering toward them.

Dan’s stomach fills with butterflies. He can still barely believes that it’s Ross that can make him feel this way - Ross who had been his platonic friend for so many years until Ross just burst in and changed Dan’s whole life with a kiss. 

Ross tromps right up to Dan’s chair and drapes himself over his shoulders like a cape. “What are you doing in here? Writing music? Can I see?”

“It’s not anywhere near done.” Dan wrinkles his nose. “Ross, what the hell? You smell like Play-Doh.”

“Fun to play with, not to eat,” Ross quotes, right into Dan’s ear. In a stage whisper he adds, “But you can do both.”

Dan reddens, but Brian doesn’t flinch. Instead Brian says thoughtfully, “It’s odd that Play-Doh’s slogan is also a safety warning.”

“Yeah, and it’s not even true. I’ve eaten Play-Doh and it was pretty fun.” Ross plonks his pert butt on Dan’s thighs and tips all his weight back. Dan winces and puts his arms around Ross’s waist, trying to reposition him. Ross wriggles and squirms and twists until he finds a position that’s apparently comfortable - for him, at least. 

“Why did you eat Play-Doh?” Dan wonders.

“My sister had one of those Happy Meal maker sets,” Ross explains. “She would make cheeseburgers and I ate them. That thing was _awesome._ ”

Brian shakes his head. “Last year, Rachel and I made Audrey this edible marshmallow play dough with that sticky marshmallow crème in a jar.” 

“What did it taste like?” Dan asks curiously.

“A little like sugared mud. Audrey didn’t seem to mind.”

Ross snuggles up closer to Dan. “Kids aren’t very picky.”

“Hence the Play-Doh slogan.”

“Hey, I didn’t die from eating it. I didn’t even get sick.”

“Yeah, but you’re like a cockroach,” Dan says, remembering his earlier conversation with Arin.

Ross twists in Dan’s lap to look at him. “That’s one of the least sexy things you’ve ever said to me.”

“I mean that you don’t die easily.” When Brian and Ross both keep staring at him, Dan throws up his hands. “I don’t know, alright? Arin said it first.”

“Why? Were you plotting my murder?”

“If they were, can you blame them?” Brian knocks Ross’s legs away from the keyboard. “Anyway, Dan, I was thinking of those lyrics you wrote when I figured out how to incorporate the melody into - ”

“Wait, hold on,” Ross interrupts, sitting straight up. “I need to borrow Dan.”

“Borrow me?”

Brian just nods. “When will you return him?”

“When is he due?” Ross asks, fussing with Dan’s hair. “Why, are you two busy? Isn’t it a Thursday? I thought you and Arin were recording soon. Or is that not until later?”

“Bring him back in twenty minutes,” Brian says, ignoring the rest. “Otherwise I’ll get suspicious.”

“Suspicious of what?” Ross demands, putting on a look of fake hurt.

“You know damn well. Might I remind you that I will murder you slowly if I find any mysterious stains on the couch.”

“We’ll be in my office,” Ross says, all false innocence and big doe eyes. “There’s nowhere to fuck in my office. Dan wouldn’t fit on the desk I don’t think. I might if we cleared everything off of it first.”

“Gross,” Brian says placidly. “Just bring him back in one piece, please.”

Ross tips himself off of Dan’s lap. Dan, his legs gone all pins-and-needles, groans and nearly stumbles as he tries to stand up to follow.

“Look,” Brian says as he reaches out to catch Dan if he falls. “You already broke him.”

“He came like that. I didn’t do it.” Ross throws back to Brian, but his attention is all on Dan. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Do I need to carry you? I mean do I need to get Arin to come carry you? Because I don’t know if I can. I’ll try.”

“I think I can walk,” Dan says dryly, even as he wobbles and limps as his muscles slowly remember how to function. “Jeeze, your bony ass is dangerous.”

Ross gets behind him and braces him, his slim white hands on Dan’s hips. It’s sweet, but Ross spoils the romance by nodding and saying, “Especially on Taco Tuesdays.”

“Gross,” Brian says again, as Dan gets herded out of the room by Ross and his wandering hands that can’t quite seem to stay put on Dan’s hips.

**

“Why did you need to borrow me?” Dan asks Ross when they’re in Ross’s office together. 

“Maybe I just wanted to get you alone,” Ross answers, but his eyes are bright with anticipation and his free hand is doing a little dance on his desk as he clicks around through fifty million open tabs on his browser.

There’s nowhere for Dan to sit - Ross’s office is practically a closet - so he stands behind Ross’s chair to look. “What are you doing?”

“I know you like sportsball stuff,” Ross says eagerly, his cursor hovering over one of the tabs, “and I know Arin is going away next week and so is Brian so I was talking to Holly about going somewhere with you - ”

“Sportsball,” Dan repeats, laughing. “You mean football?”

“I do not mean _football._ Football is the one where everyone is actually using their _feet_ and the rules make sense.”

“American football,” Dan amends.

“Right,” Ross says, “American foot-and-hand ball where it’s mostly played with throwing things around. Irregardless - ”

“That’s not even a word.”

Ross crosses his arms. “You’re being pedantic.”

“ _I’m_ being pedantic?” Dan raises an eyebrow. “Anyway, what about _American_ football?”

“Well, I know you like it a lot,” Ross is all eager again. “And I know there’s the big, you know, final game thing in February - ”

“The Super Bowl.”

“Yeah, the big final game thing. But tickets are like literally twenty thousand dollars.” Ross waves an arm in the air and his eyebrows raise to his hairline. “I’m not even exaggerating! Twenty thousand dollars!”

Dan shrugs, unimpressed. “That sounds about right. They’re usually at least five grand for crappy seats.”

“That’s not normal. You Americans are so weird.”

“Well, you’re married to one and dating another.”

“It’s okay. You’re both weird but you’re both really hot. It balances itself out. _Anyway_ , so I looked at other games that aren’t the Super Bowl. And I was thinking, why don’t we go to a football game together?”

“You want to go to a football game?” 

“Well, yeah.” Ross looks surprised that Dan would ask. “Maybe I wouldn’t go by myself. But I want to go with you.”

“You’d put up with ‘boring sportsball’ for me?” Dan asks, honestly touched. “Ross!”

Ross looks sheepish. “I really like seeing you happy. And I think it’ll be fun. Like a cultural experience. I want to see what the fuss is about.”

Dan, overcome by the romance of it all, bends to give Ross a hug from behind. It doesn’t matter that Dan only really loves the Giants - it doesn’t matter that he finds other teams only vaguely entertaining to watch - it doesn’t matter that Dan only cares a little bit about who wins the Super Bowl this year. That Ross loves him enough to want to share his interests makes his heart melt. 

Ross, clearly pleased, twists his neck to meet Dan’s lips in an awkward but heated kiss. “So it’s a good idea? You wanna go?”

“Yeah! Which teams are playing?” Dan looks at the screen. He hasn’t really followed anything since the Giants’ disappointing season ended. 

Ross looks eager again. “I know you like Philly, so I bought tickets for the Eagles and the, um, Falcons!”

Dan stares at him for a long moment, then can’t help but laugh out loud.

Ross tilts his head. “What?”

“The Eagles are the Giants’ biggest rivals,” Dan explains. 

Ross’s face drops like a stone. “What? Since when?”

“It’s the oldest rivalry in the NFC East.”

All the light goes out of Ross’s eyes and his lip quivers. “I’m sorry, Danny.”

“Oh God, no, Ross, don’t be sorry!” Dan wants to kick himself. “Ross, don’t look like that. It’s okay!”

Ross’s little pearl-pure face looks up at him beseechingly. “I didn’t know. I thought you liked Philly because you lived there and we were going to have a really fun time. I wanted to see snow and eat cheesesteak and get a hotel room with a Jacuzzi tub and get you naked in the Jacuzzi tub.”

“We _are_ going to have a really good time! We’re going to do all those things!” Dan cups Ross’s face in his hands and strokes his cheek with a thumb. It almost physically hurts him to see the crushed look in Ross’s eyes. “Please don’t be sad, Ross! I want to go, I promise!”

“You want to go even if I’m making you go to your team’s rivals’ stadium?”

“Those rivalries aren’t really serious,” Dan lies. “It’s all for fun. Plus, I can just cheer for the Falcons.”

Ross brightens and his face turns back to sunshine in Dan’s hands. “That’s true! Fuck the Eagles!”

“Maybe don’t say that too loudly when we’re at the Eagles’ stadium. But I think this is an amazing idea.” Dan stoops and kisses Ross firmly. When he pulls away Ross’s face is twice as sunny. Dan grins. “So how much were the tickets? What do I owe you?”

Ross blows air out of his nose huffily. “You owe me nothing. I wanted to do something nice for you.”

“But we always go splits on date stuff,” protests Dan. “It’s only fair.”

“Maybe this time it’s a gift.”

“A gift? What’s the occasion?”

“You have a birthday coming up!”

“Yeah,” Dan says, blinking. “If by ‘coming up’ you mean ‘eight weeks away’.”

Ross shrugs. “So, one of your gifts will be a little early.” 

“One of them?” Dan smiles and strokes Ross’s hair, reflecting on how lucky he was to be with someone so selfless and giving. “I don’t think you need to get me anything else. This is already too much. I’ll be happy just to spend some time with you on my actual birthday. Maybe come over the evening before, so I can wake up with you in my arms.”

Ross’s smile brings out the dimples in his cheeks. Then he attempts what he probably thinks is a lecherous leer. “Maybe you’ll get birthday spanks too. Thirty-nine of them.”

Dan’s stomach flutters and his veins flood with heat. His face must show some of what he’s feeling, because Ross frowns. “I’m kidding. I know you don’t like that. I’m just teasing.” When Dan doesn’t answer immediately, Ross begins to look alarmed. “Danny? Did I make you mad? I didn’t mean to bring it up - ”

“I think,” Dan says, slowly, “it’s more that I’m not really okay with spanking you? If - if you wanted to do it to me - not _that_ hard - then maybe I…I would like it. I don’t know. ”

Ross’s eyes widen. 

“But maybe not thirty-nine spanks,” Dan amends quickly, feeling his ears grow hot, “because that sounds like a lot.”

“You want me to spank you?” Ross asks eagerly. “Really?”

Dan winces at the volume of his voice. “Ross!”

“What?”

“Keep it down!”

“Nobody’s listening.”

“You don’t know that!”

“Do so,” Ross says petulantly.

“You do _not_.” Dan crosses his arms, even though he knows Ross is right - it’s easy to hear when there’s someone in the next room, and he knows where everyone else in the office is.

“Now you’re just _asking_ for a spanking,” Ross pretends to look menacing. It’s clear he thinks that it’s all fun and games - until he looks at Dan’s face. 

A spark jumps between them as their eyes meet and hold, and suddenly Ross doesn’t look playful anymore. A new light comes into his eyes and Dan is reminded of the way Ross looks down at him when he’s riding Dan’s dick, all the ferocity and lust just radiating from the set of his chin and brow. His pointed tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip, which he catches with his front teeth. 

“You like that, huh?” Ross asks in the dark and smoky voice that Dan loves, his accent thick. He pats his thighs. “Come sit on my lap.”

“Ross,” Dan protests weakly, even as he obeys. Ross’s desk chair gives an ominous creak and Dan tries to support some of his own weight on his feet. It’s strange to be the one sitting in Ross‘s lap for a change. Dan‘s chosen to straddle him versus sitting side-saddle, the better to balance his weight - Dan’s light but Ross is small - and the position brings back memories of their first time, with Ross bouncing in Dan’s lap. His face burns. “Ross, we’re…at work…”

“It’s okay. We’ll just be quiet.” Ross’s smooth little hand slips up Dan’s shirt. Dan jerks reflexively at the cold but Ross‘s other arm is quick to grab him, lightly holding him in place. “You like the idea of earning yourself a spanking.”

Dan’s stomach is doing something weird. He feels hot and shivery. He can barely manage to nod. He thinks about Arin and Brian’s advice, about Ross’s loyal love for him, and he finds courage. He keeps his voice low and steady. “I think, maybe, I like, being submissive, in the bedroom.”

“As opposed to being submissive in the kitchen or living room?”

“Don’t tease me. Not right now. I’m being serious.”

“Alright,” Ross’s hands stroke Dan’s sides. “I’m listening.”

“I’ve been - this has been on my mind for a while. I think we should talk about this at home and then maybe try, some, um, scenes.”

“Scenes?” Ross’s eyes gleam.

“Just you - you telling me what to do.”

“I already do that a lot.”

“Maybe things that are a little uncomfortable.”

“Like making you kneel on rice or something?”

“Maybe - something that would service you at the same time.”

“ _Service_ me?” Ross repeats with delight. “Sexually or however I want?”

Dan remembers Brian’s explanation of service submission and his stomach flutters again. “A-anything you want.”

“Oh,” Ross’s grin is feral. “Like making you get naked and be my footrest so I can be comfortable as I work but also have a nice view and have you ready to go in case I get frustrated and need to use your big dick?”

Dan actually gasps out loud. He ducks his head as if he can hide from Ross’s inquisitive gaze and digs his nails into his thighs to prevent himself from getting hard right here with nowhere to satisfy himself. Ross is smiling like a little demon, smug and coolly in charge. Finally Dan bravely manages to say, “I would be, more than willing to try that.”

“That’s hot as fuck, Dan. Shit. I know you said you thought you had a kink but I expected something else. I mean - I didn’t think - you were acting like it was something so weird, so I thought maybe, you wanted to pee on me or something -”

And, just like that, the atmosphere flips back to normal. Dan’s body rights itself and he laughs, a little hysterically. “Pee on you?”

Ross hums. “Why not? It’s okay if you like it, you know.”

“But I don’t.”

“But if you do,” Ross insists. “I’d be okay with it. I support you, Danny. I love you.”

“Thanks, I think. I love you too?” Dan pauses. “You’d actually let someone pee on you?” 

Ross huffs right into Dan’s ear. “Not _someone_ , what the hell. I said, if it’s _you._ ”

Dan snorts. It’s absurd that it actually feels like a compliment. “That’s sweet, Ross, but I’m pretty sure I’m not into, um, bodily fluids.”

“You liked it when I came on your face by accident,” Ross counters.

“I think that’s an obvious exception,” Dan says, ducking his head as he remembers how Ross had tried to contain his laughter as Dan spluttered - and then how he’d licked the worst of the mess from Dan’s face with his hot little tongue.

“You _did_ like it, didn’t you?” Ross asks, peering through Dan’s curls at his pink face. “So did I.” His voice lowers again. “You looked so fucking good with my cum all over your face and your lips all red from sucking my dick.”

Dan’s breath catches and he lifts his head, entranced by the heat in Ross’s eyes. “Ross,” he breathes. “I…you…”

“I love when you get flustered,” Ross declares, and cuts Dan off with a firm kiss.

Dan gets lost, as always, in the sweetness of Ross’s mouth. Ross kisses him slowly, with all of his usual passion, but there’s an undercurrent of anticipation that enhances the thrill. 

“Shit,” Dan eventually gasps, pulling back and blinking dazedly. “How long have we been in here? Brian’s gonna be wondering what we’re doing.”

“It hasn’t been that long,” Ross assures him. “Maybe like half an hour tops.”

“I should get back,” Dan says ruefully. He stands up from Ross’s lap. Ross leans back in his chair, arms behind his head as he stretches his legs out in front of him. Dan tries not to stare at the little strip of skin peeking out between the hem of Ross’s shirt and the waistband of his tight jeans. “I really want to see what Brian worked on all last week and we don’t have much time until I have to record with Arin.”

“Are you still going to be done in time for dinner?” Ross asks practically. “It’s okay if it’s a bit of a late dinner. I might go get some McNuggets and a Frosty.”

“Do you mean a McFlurry?”

“If I meant a McFlurry I would have said McFlurry. You can’t dip McNuggets in a McFlurry, only fries.”

“Wendy’s has chicken nuggets too. You don't have to go to both,” Dan attempts to reason.

Ross waves this logic off with an air of superiority, as if Dan couldn’t possibly begin to understand Ross’s culinary genius. 

Dan sighs loudly and hides his grin. “Well, we’ll probably be done at seven. If not, definitely before seven-thirty. I’ll text you, keep you updated.”

Ross nods. “I think I’m gonna look at some hotels for us.”

“Ones that have Jacuzzi tubs?”

“And a mirror over the bed,” Ross confirms, with a facial spasm that Dan assumes is supposed to be a wink. “There’s this hotel in Vegas where the rooms have stripper poles. D’you think there’s something like that in Philly?”

“Stripper poles in the bedrooms?” Dan repeats, baffled. “For what?”

“I’ve always wanted to try doing flippy tricks on one,” Ross explains. “I think I’d be really good at it. I’m good at being upside down.”

“You know you can just buy those and have one in your house.”

“But I just want to try it once.”

“It’s harder than it looks. Supporting your own weight with your legs hurts like crazy. Arin and I tried it when - ”

“Danny,” Ross interrupts, looking pained, “if you think I don’t have that video memorized after watching it a million times to watch you and your legs and your tight butt in those awesome shorts, then I don’t know what to tell you.”

“You - you liked it? Even though I looked ridiculous and wasn’t very good?” Dan remembers himself as being a gangly, giggly, graceless mess - and cartoonishly thin next to Arin’s curves and Mark’s average build.

“I jerked off so much watching you that my dick almost fell off,” Ross says matter-of-factly. 

Dan flounders and fidgets with the silver ring Ross had given him. “Well, I’m, um. I’m really glad it didn’t.”

Ross lets out a peal of laughter, the kind of laugh he rarely did in public - his fairy laugh, Dan always thought of it, in sharp contrast to his trademark obnoxious gremlin cackle. “Me too, Dan. Me too.”

Dan’s face still feels hot and his smile is distant and dreamy when he gets back to Brian’s desk. 

Mercifully, Brian holds his tongue for once in his life and doesn’t tease him. At least, not very much.


	3. Chapter 3

“Look, Dan!” Ross presses his forehead against the window of the bus. Dan opens his mouth to tell Ross how filthy everything on Philly city buses are, then closes it again. The pure glee in Ross’s voice is so completely adorable that Dan doesn’t want to ruin his fun. “Look, it’s snowing! _Really_ snowing!”

Snowing it certainly was. And Ross couldn’t be more excited.

He had been content enough during the game. Dan had worried that Ross would be bored to tears, but despite his obvious confusion regarding the rules of the game, he watched with relative attention. Pink-cheeked and bright-eyed, he held Dan’s hand and snuggled against his shoulder and drank yellow fizzy beer from a paper cup. He liked the loaded nachos and the cheap cheesesteak that looked like cat food on a dry bun. And he listened politely as Dan outlined how the Eagles’ defensive strategy secured their victory. 

But when they left the stadium - Dan holding onto Ross’s hand as the crowds bottlenecked at the exits, so as to not lose him - Ross lit up like a Christmas tree. It had started to snow lightly in the stadium but the underground heating system didn’t let any stick to the field. Outside, the world had been transformed.

“Dan, do you see it?” Ross jabs his finger at the glass as if Dan needed help seeing where the snow was coming from. “Are you looking? You’re not looking!”

“I see it, Ross,” Dan answers patiently. Several of their fellow travellers are looking at Ross with amusement. 

“It’s so pretty. It‘s like those little things that you shake.” Ross jacks his hand up and down in a gesture that Dan thinks is supposed to be innocent. 

“You mean a snow globe?”

“Is that what you call them? That sounds so boring.” 

“It’s not what I call them - it’s what everybody calls them.”

Ross isn’t listening. Dan watches him push the button for the next stop.

“Ross! This isn’t where we‘re supposed to get off!”

Ross is already on his feet, holding onto the overhead bar with both hands. “I want to walk in the snow.”

“Do you even know where we are?”

Ross ignores Dan’s practical question. His eyes shine as he stares out the window. “We’re not _too_ far from the hotel I don’t think. I want to walk in the snow.”

There’s nothing else Dan can do. He sighs and follows Ross to the door. “It’ll be cold.”

Ross gives him a look and squares his jaw. “I can handle the cold. I’m tough, you know.”

“Last week you bumped your elbow and couldn’t get off the floor until I kissed it better.”

“That was different. How do you open this thing?” Ross smacks the door in several places before the bus even pulls to a complete stop. 

“I’m not sure,” Dan says dryly. “Maybe the big sign in front of your face that says ‘push handle to open’ is a clue. Have you never taken a bus in your life?”

“Why would I ever take a bus? I don’t even know why we’re taking a bus _now._ We could have gotten an Uber.” 

Dan just sighs and smiles at the same time. He doesn’t bother explaining again how he wanted to avoid the awful parking lot rush, or how the city bus brought him pleasant nostalgia for his younger days.

Ross considers the sign, then smacks the handle. Ever since Dan made him put his mittens on - Holly had knitted them both woolly mittens and a hat for Ross - Ross acted like a dog who had been forced into wearing shoes. He simply refused to believe that he could still use his hands normally. “Oh!” Ross says delightedly when the doors open with a hiss, and then, when he jumps off, “ _Oh!_ It’s freezing out here!”

It _is_ cold, and gustier than it had been outside the stadium, but when he steps off the bus Dan can’t help but be a little enchanted. A thick blanket of snow, tinged indigo by the darkening early evening sky, lay over the city. It was almost pristine, save for the footprints on the sidewalks and the tire tracks on the roads. In time the roads would turn into dirty greyish slush and the sidewalks and pathways would be shovelled clear. But for now, it was a fairy land. 

Ross had taken off his hat on the bus and the snowflakes were sticking to his hair, little crystals reflecting the streetlights. His cheeks are rosy and his brow is furrowed in concentration as he tries to catch the snow on his tongue. Dan’s chest tightens as he realizes, again, just how much he loves Ross.

Ross catches Dan staring. “Do I still have cheese on my face?”

Dan shakes his head, feeling faintly embarrassed. “No. You just…you look beautiful, that’s all.”

“Do I?” Ross’s dimples appear in both cheeks and he reaches out to grab Dan’s hand. The sight of his own arm distracts him. “It’s all over my jacket!” 

“The cheese?”

“No! Well - yeah, but - no, I mean the snow!” Ross exclaims, staring down at himself. “Will it melt? And then freeze into ice on me?”

“It might melt but it won’t freeze. And you can just dust it off.”

“With what?”

“Uh, with your hands?”

“Do it for me?” Ross stops dead in the middle of the sidewalk and assumes a spread eagle stance like Dan’s about to frisk him for contraband.

Dan dutifully dusts Ross off as best as he can. “It’s really not that hard.”

“But you can do me and I can do you and that’s easier. And more fun.” Ross grabs Dan by the hips, turning him around forcibly. 

Dan swallows hard. “I think I’m good.”

“Nope,” Ross deadpans, “you’ve got a little something right about - _here_ \- ”

Dan should have anticipated the light slap to his ass. His yelp is swallowed by a gust of wind. 

“Now you’re good.” Laughing, Ross runs ahead, barely escaping Dan’s retaliatory swing. Unfortunately for him, he doesn’t escape the dense snowball thrown with perfect precision to land squarely between his shoulders.

“Yes! Three points!”

Ross hops up and down. “Fuck your three points! I’m not a field goal!”

“Ross!” Dan is touched. “Did I teach you that?”

“Teach me what?” Ross is now busily engaged in trying to make a canteloupe-sized snowball. He’s not packing it right, and it keeps falling apart.

“That a field goal is worth three points.”

“Sometimes I do listen when you talk,” admits Ross.

Dan smiles and comes up behind him so he can wrap his arms around Ross’s middle. Ross submits to the impromptu hug with a demure smile on his elfin face. A wiser man would have known that innocent smile did not bode well. Dan, gullible as ever, doesn’t suspect a thing. He’s content and happy and he has his Ross in his arms, and that’s all that matters. 

And then Ross shoves a handful of snow down the back of Dan’s jacket. 

“God _damnit_ Ross!”

Ross slips out of Dan’s arms and flees with a cackle. He dodges an approaching gaggle of pedestrians and heads down a path that runs alongside a tiny frozen creek. There’s plenty of ammo in the untouched field beside the path. Dan braces himself for the onslaught of snowballs - but Ross trips over a deep drift of snow in his haste. His indignant squawk is cut short as his momentum carries him forward and he falls flat on his face.

“Ross!” Dan jogs to his rescue, his heart in his throat. “Ross, are you okay?”

By the time Dan gets to him Ross has managed to roll himself over onto his back. He’s staring up at the sky with the most pathetic, resigned look that Dan’s ever seen on a human being. 

“Maybe you should get up?” Dan suggests gently after a full minute. 

“Can’t. Gonna die here.”

“Yeah? Any last words?”

Ross’s eyes roll back in his head dramatically. “Tell Holly…that I love her…and that it was me that spilled the lube all over the couch.”

“I’m pretty sure she knows.”

“No, I told her it was you.” Ross looks at the sky again with glazed eyes, his mouth falling open.

Dan takes out his phone.

“Daniel!” Ross protests, forgetting to look lifeless. “Did you just take a picture? How dare you?”

“You looked cute. I couldn’t help it.” 

Ross sticks out his hand. “Make yourself useful and help me up.”

Dan steps nimbly into the deep snow and reaches out to grab Ross’s hand, pulling him to his feet.

“You’re like a fuckin’ elk,” Ross tells him.

“What?”

“Your long legs are like how elk run through the snow.”

Dan blinks. “You wanna try that sentence again?”

“You know what I meant.” Ross turns and looks at the Ross-shaped depression in the snow. “Oh! I think I made a snow angel!”

“You made a big mess of yourself is what you did,” scolds Dan, secretly relieved to hear Ross sounding gleeful again, even if he knew that Ross had been exaggerating his discomfort. Dan uses his sleeve to wipe the snow from Ross’s jacket and pants as best as he can.

Ross huffs. “I nearly died and this is how you repay me?”

“I’m trying to help.” Dan kisses Ross’s stubborn mouth. “Are you really hurt?”

“No,” Ross admits, “but I got snow in my boots and it’s melting and it’s _really_ cold.”

“We’d better get you to the hotel as fast as we can, so we can get you out of those wet clothes.”

Ross grins. “And you need to get naked too, and we have to get in the bed together to share body heat.”

“Can’t risk freezing to death,” concedes Dan. 

“If we rub together we can make some friction, to get even warmer.” Ross punctuates this vulgar suggestion by stretching up on his toes to give Dan a prim kiss on the sharp line of his jaw. His mittened hand slips easily into Dan’s. 

Dan feels a thrill at the familiarity of his gesture, like they’d been a couple for years instead of just a few months. He squeezes Ross’s hand tight and suddenly he doesn’t feel the bite of the wind anymore, nor does he remember to worry about the winter storm grounding their flight and trapping them here. Nothing is ever dull when Ross is around, after all, and an extra day of work to catch up with Arin when he gets back isn’t anywhere close to unpleasant either. It gives Dan an odd feeling to realize that, after thirty-nine years, his life has everything he’d ever wanted. A dream job, a successful band. Good-hearted best friends that Dan would die for. And a loyal, loving, supportive partner, who often looked at Dan like he hung the moon and the stars.

Dan stops them at the end of the path before they reach the busy sidewalk to kiss the snowflakes from Ross’s eyelashes, both of them warm in each other’s arms as the wind howls around them.

Despite the snow melting against his back, Dan’s on top of the world.

**

“I’m cold,” Ross complains for the hundredth time as he follows Dan down the sidewalk. 

Their hotel is just ahead, maybe three blocks away, easy to see from a distance with its beautiful Victorian façade and ornate spires. Dan’s eyes dwell on it affectionately, thinking how perfectly it suited the ethereal feeling of the silent crystal winter. Ross had done a good job planning their trip. What their hotel lacked in stripper poles and bedroom mirrors, it made up for in romantic aesthetic. And of course, there was the Jacuzzi that Ross wanted. Dan’s looking forward to it after the frigid walk.

“Dan, I’m _cold._ ”

“I know you are, Ross. It’s winter. We’ll be there soon.”

Ross accepts this answer for about fifteen seconds. Then, “Are we there yet? I’m cold.”

“Almost, Ross.”

“I’m gonna die,” Ross informs him, shivering miserably. “I’m wet. I‘m going to get hypothermia. I think I have hypothermia. Maybe I’ll lose a toe.”

“That’s frostbite, not hypothermia.”

“I have frostbite,” Ross agrees immediately.

“I’m pretty sure you don’t.”

“What if I do?”

“I’ll take that chance.”

“Heartless bastard.”

“Whose idea was it to go for a walk in the snow?”

“The walking part is fine. It’s the falling in the five foot deep snow part that I didn’t like at all.”

“Five feet.”

“Like three feet, okay, fine.”

“More like one and a half, tops.”

“Four feet.”

“That’s not - alright, yeah, sure. Four feet.” Dan shakes his head. “Look, we’re here. No more complaining.”

Ross shivers all the way up the elevator and down the corridor. As soon as Dan shuts the door of their room behind him, Ross is stripping naked. Dan barely has time to enjoy the view before Ross dives headfirst into bed and rolls himself up in the blanket like a caterpillar in a cocoon. Only his contented little face is sticking out.

Dan takes off his jeans and sits on the bed in his T-shirt and boxers. “I guess you’re not gonna die of frostbite after all?”

“I still might. You don’t know.”

“Are your toes still there?”

“I dunno. Check for me.” The bundle of Ross starts to squirm and rock as he tries to get a single leg out from his blanket prison. Dan, watching Ross’s face scrunch with the strain, is vaguely reminded of a baby reptile trying to hatch.

“Yep, still there.” Dan skates the pads of his fingers along the bottom of Ross’s foot to make him laugh.

“Your hands are warm.” Ross bats Dan’s hand with his foot. “Warm me up.”

Blood rushes to Dan’s groin as he remembers his confession to Brian. Ross’s small foot is cold to the touch and he sighs when Dan’s big hands envelop it completely. 

“I thought you didn’t like my feet.” Ross grins, clearly amused. 

“What?” Dan’s attempt at genuine surprise falls flat. Ross just stares at him unblinkingly, and Dan starts to babble. “I never said I didn’t like them. I like your feet fine. I like all of you. It’s why we’re dating.”

“You’re doing that thing where you get embarrassed and talk too much,” Ross says matter-of-factly. 

“I’m not embarrassed! It’s just, it’s just a foot. Nothing to be embarrassed about.” Dan ducks his head and avoids Ross’s gaze.

Ross hums and wiggles his toes. “Maybe you should give me a foot massage since you like it so much. Make yourself useful.”

Dan squeezes Ross’s foot unconsciously. The swoop in his belly feels like he’s falling. “Just maybe?” he repeats faintly, unable to bring himself to tell Ross what he really wants to hear.

But Ross figures it out anyway. Sometimes he’s quick on the draw. His eyes flash with understanding. “No. No maybes. Do it for me.”

Dan swallows. “Okay.”

“Just okay?” Ross says, mocking him.

“Am I supposed to say ‘yes, sir’?”

Ross laughs. “I mean, if you want. I have no objection to that. Do you want to?”

“I don’t think so. I’m not against it, but.” Dan kneads Ross’s foot. “It’s hard to take you seriously when you look that cute.”

“Would you take me more seriously if I spanked you first?”

“I - ” Dan squeezes Ross’s foot too hard and catches his breath.

“Yeah?” Ross’s grin widens and grows a little darker. “I think you earned a spanking today, taking pictures of me instead of helping.”

Dan closes his eyes and shudders. “Fuck, Ross.”

“Did somebody tell you to stop rubbing my foot?” Ross demands. “You want to be a good boy for me, yeah? Keep going. Your big fuckin’ thumbs are good at this.”

“I’m sorry. I want to be good for you. Please.” Dan’s got no fucking idea where this is coming from. It’s almost like being drunk. It’s nothing like the stuff he’d researched late at night with big eyes and a raging boner. Ross is by no means the picture of authority or domination and he’s not barking out orders or being sultry. He’s just being _Ross_ , and somehow Dan is completely entranced. 

“Good,” Ross says with satisfaction as Dan doubles up his efforts and focuses on the delicate arch of his foot. “It’s still not going to get you out of the spanking you’ve earned, but it’s pretty good. Keep that up and I’ll be gentle with your ass.”

Dan isn’t sure what Ross’s idea of gentle is. He doesn’t mind a bit of pain - but he doesn’t want welts and whip marks, like in kink porn. Handprints would be nice - his skin reddened and hot to the touch, sore to sit on - but no more. They hadn’t discussed this since the day in Ross’s office, hadn’t gone over anything but Dan’s vague desire to submit. Dan hadn’t followed Arin’s advice and talked about safe words - he hadn’t taken Brian’s advice and told Ross where his limits were. He bites the inside of his cheek as he struggles to maintain composure.

“Ross,” he finally says, quiet and meek. “Wait - can we…talk?”

Ross freezes. “Was that too much?”

“No. No, it’s - I like it. I like this. It’s just - I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

Ross snorts. “I’m not exactly a master at this myself.”

“Do you and Holly - ?”

“Well, yeah, but she’s usually in charge.”

“So you still have more experience.”

“I don’t think it matters?” Ross wiggles his foot to urge Dan to continue. “I just figured, I know you’re interested in spanking - and I do really like it when you look embarrassed and your face gets all red. It seems a good place to start.”

“I don’t want it to hurt a lot. I…I want to be punished, but I also want to - ”

“ _Service_ me?” Ross breaks in gleefully.

Dan nods jerkily.

“I remember. Don’t worry.” Ross pauses. “And I won’t hurt you a lot. It’ll sting a bit, probably. I won’t go hard unless you want me to.”

“Should we, um, make a safe word?”

“‘No’ or ‘stop’ will work, I promise,” Ross says, and then adds slowly, “Unless you _want_ to say no but have me keep going.”

Dan sucks in a breath at the thought of it, but it seems like so much, so fast. “Maybe not this time.”

“Alright,” Ross says easily. “You tell me to stop, and it stops. And ‘slow down’ means I slow down. Obviously.” 

That’s easy to follow, and pretty fucking hot, too. Dan nods, reassured. “Okay. Okay, yeah. That works.” He sounds calmer than he feels. He’s fucking rock hard already, just from this. Embarrassed, Dan tries to shift his lower body to hide the tent in his boxers. 

Ross gives a honking laugh. “Why are you trying to hide it? It’s eight and a half inches long. You get a boner and people are gonna notice.” He pauses. “Take it out.”

“Take what out?”

“Your dick, you big elk.”

“You mean take off my clothes?”

“If I meant take off your clothes I’d tell you so. I just want your dick out. I like looking at it.” 

It’s ridiculous and it shouldn’t be sexy at all - being ordered around by a slip of a man rolled up like a burrito in a blanket, in such a conversational tone. But, _fuck_ , it’s exactly what Dan wants. Nothing gets him so flustered as seeing Ross’s pretty, piquant face bloom into a smile when Dan gives him what he wants. Dan holds Ross’s foot with one hand and reaches down with the other to fumble with his underwear, pulling his dick out through the slit. The brief touch of his fingers is enough to make him swallow back a moan. 

“Don’t touch it,” Ross demands. “Leave it alone. You’re busy. I thought you wanted to be a good service sub.” 

Ross makes this challenge a lot harder when he squirms free of the blanket. He stretches his arms behind his head, fully naked and unashamed of it, his own erection laying flat against his stomach. Dan stares at it and thinks, _He likes it, he likes this too, I’m being good for him_. His mouth starts to water.

“Like what you see?” Ross wriggles his hips. 

“God, yes, Ross.”

“You love my dick, yeah?” Ross takes himself in hand, his dick so pink in contrast to his white fingers. He’s smirking now, clearly enjoying the power he has. 

Dan nods quickly, swallowing the excess saliva in his mouth as he watches Ross’s fingers stroke up and down. Ross’s dick _is_ exceptionally pretty, just like the rest of him. With a surge of boldness, Dan says, “You look so fucking good when you touch yourself.”

“Too bad you can’t touch yours.” Ross tugs his foot from Dan’s grasp. Dan waits for the next command, for Ross to tell him to suck his dick. He can’t stop thinking about the weight of it in his mouth, the way Ross tastes, how he likes Dan to angle it into his cheek so Ross can touch his face and feel the bulge of his cock inside. Maybe Ross won’t even order him to suck it - maybe he’ll just grab Dan by the hair and pull him forward, face-first into his crotch.

But instead Ross hums and lifts his foot to press the sole against Dan’s face.

Dan makes a noise in the back of his throat that’s almost a whimper. 

“You like this too?” Ross asks, delighted. “It’d be hotter if you were on the floor, I think, but I don’t wanna get up. Kiss it.”

Dan turns his head and presses a light kiss to the soft arch. The action itself isn’t as degrading as knowing that Ross knows how turned on he is just from this.

“Good. Now stick out your tongue.”

A fresh surge of humiliation flows through Dan as he obeys. He must look like a sex doll with his cock out and his mouth open. And, with his dick hard and leaking between his legs, Ross knows damn well just how much Dan likes being treated his way.

Ross angles his foot and runs the smooth sole down Dan’s tongue. It makes him laugh. “Fuck, that tickles. And your tongue is so _wet_ , what the fuck.”

Dan rolls his eyes at him. “That’s kind of the point of a tongue, Ross.”

Ross’s dextrous foot twists, smearing Dan’s spit onto his cheek. “I didn’t realize that your definition of me making you do things involved so much backtalk.”

“I didn’t realize you’d be surprised at the fact that a tongue is wet.”

Dan expects some sort of retaliation. He wonders if Ross would ever slap his face, lightly of course, so as to not leave a mark. Or maybe he’d shove his toes into Dan’s mouth. But Ross only laughs. Dan isn’t sure if he’s disappointed or not.

“So what else do you want me to do to you?” Ross asks conversationally, even as he keeps lazily rubbing his foot against Dan’s face. “You like this? I could do this all night. After your spanking you can just kneel there and massage my feet until I decide I need you to get me off so I can sleep.”

Dan’s cock twitches. “How would you - use me to get off?” He’s thinking of Ross riding him, maybe turned around reverse cowboy so Dan could have a better view.

“Dunno,” Ross says, unconcerned. “I was thinking earlier about coming on your face.”

“You were?”

“Yeah, and it was fucking hot. You were so embarrassed when I did it by accident. You barely even gave me a chance to look at you. You were so pretty with my cum all over your face.” Ross pats Dan’s cheek with his toes and beams at the resulting blush. 

Dan summons his courage. “Can I touch myself while I do that?”

“While you do what?” Ross asks, playing dumb like he loves to do.

“Can I touch myself while I suck your cock?”

Ross doesn’t even fucking blink, the bastard. “No, ‘cause I want to tie your hands behind your back. That’s what you get for back talking me.” He sits halfway up and guides his feet down to Dan’s dick. “If you want to come you’ll have to figure it out for yourself.”

“With my hands tied up?” Dan asks hoarsely. “How?”

Ross shrugs. “You can try humping the mattress maybe. That’d be fun to watch. Or you could beg me to help.”

It shouldn’t feel this good to have his dick between Ross’s feet. Dan moans as Ross tightens his grip, lightly tugging up and down like a clumsy hand job. Ross’s arches are soft but his heels are tough, and without lube it’s all dry and tugging and verging on painful. But it’s _good_ , somehow - Dan is fucking on _fire_ , he’s so worked up, and he doesn’t even realize that his hips are rocking back and forth. He’s fucking Ross’s _feet_ , for god’s sake, and moaning for more.

Ross’s laugh is tinkly and cruel. “You wanna come so bad,” he says gleefully. “Maybe if you’re _really_ good I’ll make it happen.” He sits up suddenly and the pressure of his feet around Dan’s cock is gone, making Dan whimper again.

“Please,” Dan manages, his face fiery. “Ross…please don’t stop?”

“Nope. My legs are sore from holding them up,” Ross says cheerfully. “Too bad.”

“Let me…touch you, blow you, fuck, anything. Ross, I need…”

Ross rolls off the bed and tugs Dan with him. “I know what you need. Clothes off,” he orders, but does it himself anyway. Dan barely has time to raise his arms to help Ross get his shirt up over his head, and then Ross is eagerly yanking down his boxers from behind. Dan feels like a present being unwrapped roughly in excitement.

“You have such a nice ass,” Ross says happily. “It’s so _small._ And I love how easy you bruise. You’re gonna have my handprints all over you for like a week.”

“I have to sit on a flight for five hours tomorrow,” Dan protests weakly.

“That sounds like a you problem.” Ross squeezes Dan’s ass _hard_ , his short nails digging into the soft flesh. It’s definitely the roughest he’s ever touched Dan. Sparks shoot up Dan’s spine and he opens his mouth to say _ow_ or _jesus, Ross_ \- but all that comes out is a shaky moan.

Ross turns him around roughly. “Yeah, that’s right you fuckin’ like that.” His mouth finds Dan’s neck, kissing up to the scratchy stubble on his chin. His hot breath ghosts across Dan’s ear. 

Dan shivers, his stomach twisting with anticipation. “Yes. Yes, please, fuck, Ross.” 

Ross steps back. “Pick up your clothes first. Mine too.”

“What?”

“Did I stutter?” Ross demands, and Dan turns to see him standing with his hands on his hips, looking as stern as Ross could ever possibly look. “Clean up your mess. Fold everything neatly and put it on the dresser. My jeans are wet, so hang them up somewhere to dry.”

“Where?”

“Figure it out.”

Dan, feeling a little ridiculous with his dick bobbing straight out in the air, kneels down and picks up his clothes that Ross had stripped from him, and the jeans he’d taken off himself earlier. He can feel Ross watching him and he blushes when he has to get on all fours and bend down to find one of Ross’s socks that had been kicked under the bed. He saves the wet jeans for last, finding it hard to concentrate on where to put them with the embarrassment he’s feeling. He ends up draping them over the shower rod. 

It shouldn’t feel this good to be naked and picking up dirty clothes, but for all the absurdity, Dan’s more turned on than ever. 

When he comes back Ross is squirming, clearly impatient. “That’s better,” he says. “You ready for your spanking?”

Blood rushes to Dan’s groin. “How do you want me?” he asks weakly, resisting the urge to stroke himself.

A light kindles behind Ross’s eyes at the question. “Get on all fours. And arch your back.”

Dan’s breath hitches in his throat. He’s already getting hard, just thinking of putting his ass on display for Ross. His fear is kept in check by his firm knowledge that Ross would never push him too far, or do anything without giving him a chance to say no. He gets one final kiss to the shell of his ear, and then Ross is pulling away. 

Dan turns his head and looks at Ross’s face as if to confirm that it’s still him, still his Ross, his love. Ross’s mouth is resolute but his eyes are dancing, just like always, ready for the fun and games. Reassured, Dan bends to place his hands on the bed, crawling up clumsily with his sharp knees and hands sinking deep into the mattress and making him look ungainly and ridiculous. He _has_ to spread his thighs and arch his back to keep himself from tipping over - and fuck, that turns him on, being unable to disobey. Dan’s heart pounds harder and his dick throbs between his legs. 

Ross steps up to the foot of the bed. “That’s about the right height,” he observes. 

Dan jumps at the light touch of Ross’s hand on his ass. But he’s not spanking him yet - just exploring. Ross’s other hand settles on the opposite cheek, and then he’s spreading Dan's ass open.

“Ross!” Dan clenches up on instinct and he tries to pull away to no avail. Ross’s hands hold him steady. 

“I’m just looking,” Ross says, obstinate as ever. “Not gonna touch you there unless you want me to.” 

Dan feels wonderfully, awfully exposed. He can almost feel Ross’s eyes on him, looking at the part of himself that even Dan barely ever saw. 

“Fuck, Danny.” Ross’s voice drops. “Fuck, you’re so hot. Love your little ass so much.” He bends and presses a kiss to one cheek. “You’re being so good for me. All ready to take your punishment.”

“Just your hands,” Dan whispers. “Just your hands, right?”

“Just my hands,” Ross agrees. “You’re still okay, yeah?”

“I’m - yeah. Definitely okay. More than okay.”

“How does ten spanks sound?”

Dan grips the sheets. “Do I have a choice?” he asks, not fully knowing what he wants Ross’s answer to be.

“Yes,” Ross says firmly, with no playfulness or sadistic glee. “Dan, I’m not hitting you unless you want to be hit, okay? I know you like being told what to do, but this is the first time I’m _hurting_ you on purpose and I’m not pushing you past your limits.”

“Okay. Okay, yeah, that’s fair.” Dan breathes in and out. “Ten is okay. I think.”

“Alright. And you want me to stop, you tell me right away.” Ross leans over him and runs his hands down the length of Dan’s back. His cock presses into Dan’s thigh and Dan gasps at how hot it feels, how hard and wet Ross is. “You ready?”

“Yes,” Dan braces himself.

He can practically see the smug look taking over Ross’s face. “Yes, what?”

Dan can’t think, can’t remember how to be embarrassed or feel silly when his entire body is tense with want, his heart pounding, his mind reeling with anticipation. “Yes, _sir_.”

“Oh, okay, maybe I do like that,” Ross muses, and then his hand cracks across Dan’s ass, on his left cheek.

There’s more shock than pain and the sound of the slap is harder than the bite of it. Dan has to fight to get his breath back, and he can’t tell whether or not he liked it. Then Ross hits him again - on the same side, the sadist - and this time there’s pain, sharp enough to make him groan but over quickly. A tingly rush of warm sparks radiate outward from the epicentre of the blow, and _holy shit_ \- it’s like the feeling Dan gets when Ross doesn’t stop sucking his dick after he comes. It hurts, but in a way that’s so close to pleasure that he can’t tell the difference.

Ross’s next hit catches him on the other side, but lower down, almost on Dan’s thigh. It’s a much sharper pain, more like fire, and Dan actually _shouts_.

“You want everyone to hear you?” Ross asks, as if the hotel wasn’t built in the old-fashioned way, with thick walls and thicker floors, good as soundproofed. “You want this whole place to know how much you like your ass being spanked? That you’re getting punished for being bad?”

Dan exhales hard. “No, I’m - I’m being good. I wanna be a good boy.”

“I know you do, but you just can’t help yourself, can you?” Ross hits him twice in rapid succession, once on each cheek, with good aim. He gives Dan a moment to breathe, or maybe to say _stop_ if it was too much, and then does it again. Dan can barely even feel where his hand is landing. It doesn’t matter. Ross can do anything to him, and he’ll love it. His whole ass is on fire, and his whole body is being rocked with waves of pleasure. His world is narrowed down to Ross’s voice, Ross’s hands on him, the knowledge that Ross is enjoying this and that he’s being properly punished for his bad behaviour.

“You’re at seven,” Ross’s voice cuts through the air. “Still doing okay?”

And Dan had thought ten sounded like a lot. It feels like it’s just getting started - or it feels like it’s been an eternity - he can’t tell. “I’m good. It’s good. Please, Ross, do it again. Do it harder.”

“Dan, jesus.” Ross sounds a little out of breath now. Dan can hear him swallow. “A little harder, yeah. You’re being so good, you don’t need to be hurt too much.”

The fire had begun to subside by the time Ross spanks him again but it returns with a vengeance. The pain is so bright and intense that Dan’s upper body wobbles and he loses his balance, falling on his chin with his ass still held high in the air. He can’t seem to get himself back up. Ross strokes his hip, waiting, but Dan doesn’t say stop. He just pushes his face into the mattress and lets it muffle the scream that comes when Ross puts both hands flat on his abused cheeks and kneads them firmly.

“Still good, Danny?”

Dan lifts his face to breathe. “Yes,” he sobs, “yes, don’t stop.” He’s even more exposed like this. Ross’s hand slips between his legs, fondling his heavy sac as his other hand plays with the red marks on his ass. Dan’s thighs tremble as he thinks of Ross squeezing his balls, maybe slapping them too. He tilts his head forward and looks down at his cock, bobbing helplessly, a pool of pre-cum on the sheets below. He’s so turned on that his brain doesn’t know how to process it.

“You want the last two soft, or hard?”

Dan doesn’t even think. “Hard. Please. _Ross_ …”

They come together, and Ross isn’t holding back. He’s not exceptionally strong but the force of his blows rocks Dan forward and makes him scream, hoarse and raw. Ross’s small white hand feels like a fucking whip and Dan practically feels his flesh sizzling with the heat. The aftershocks go straight to his dick, almost pushing him to climax. Dan clenches his ass and rides it out, his brain sparking and fizzing.

“That was good,” Ross soothes. “That was ten, you’re done. So good, Danny. Fuck, can you see this? Your whole ass is just bright red.” He helps Dan lay down, and Dan turns on his side and cranes his neck so he can see. Ross had been right - his whole ass was splotchy and red, with unmistakeable finger marks. Dan gasps.

Ross kisses his hip. “Does it hurt a lot?”

“Not…not too much.” Dan’s face feels as hot as his ass. “I - I like it.”

“Can you stand up?”

“I - think so.”

Dan’s legs are rubbery but he can stand. Ross holds him from behind, his chin tucked over Dan’s shoulder. “You made a mess,” he says with some awe as he looks at the puddle of pre-come. “I’ve never seen your dick leak that much. You really liked that, didn’t you?”

Dan tries to find the right words. “It was…incredible. Perfect. You were perfect. I didn’t think - I knew it would be good, but I never thought it could be so…” He laughs weakly. “If you had touched my dick even once I would have come all over myself.”

“Yeah?”

“Hell yeah. I was thinking about it - not you touching my dick, but slapping it - ” God, what was he saying? Did he really just say that? Dan laughs again, a little hysterically. He had told Brian that he didn’t like pain less than ten days ago. He’s still breathing too hard, his heart pumping too fast.

“I’m gonna get you some water,” Ross decides. “Hold on.”

Dan sits carefully on the edge of the bed and drinks from the bottle Ross fetches from the mini-fridge. The cold soothes his throat and helps to settle his head. “Thanks, Ross.”

“Welcome. You feel better?”

“A lot, yeah.” Dan’s still nearly vibrating with energy, but the extreme adrenaline rush is fading. “That was intense.”

“Oh, my God, it was _so_ intense!” Ross grins gleefully. “And you loved it so much. I never thought - wow, Danny. And you were saying you want me to hit you even more? And on your dick? You kinky fucker. Like, gently, or some CBT shit?”

“CBT?”

“Cock and ball torture,” Ross says like it’s obvious.

Dan shudders. “Torture seems a little much? I think…maybe…maybe not today, but another time, if you weren’t too rough. But…”

“But what?”

Dan gathers up his courage. “But maybe I’m not done being - ” He trips over his tongue, but plows onward. “Maybe I’m not done being punished.”

“Yeah.” Ross’s voice goes thick. “Fuck yeah, you’re not done. Never said you were. You’re gonna suck my dick, remember? I’m gonna come all over your face.”

“With my hands tied up,” Dan says with a shiver.

“Yeah. You ready for that? I need to come, like, yesterday.”

Dan looks at Ross’s dick, all eager and erect and ready for attention. “Yeah, I am.”

Ross taps Dan’s hip and says, “Good. Don’t move. I’ll be right back.” 

Dan can hear his feet pattering into the bathroom. He isn’t sure what Ross is doing, or where he’s going to find rope or cuffs in the hotel room - unless somehow he’d brought them from home. But Ross comes back beaming, holding up one of the complimentary white bathrobes provided by the hotel.

“The belt should be nice and soft on your wrists,” Ross explains, “and I won’t tie it too tight. You’d be able to get out if you really tried but you should be able to struggle a bit without it giving.”

“Oh,” Dan says faintly. “But - ”

“But what?”

“If I need it to stop…if it’s too much…”

“Not gonna fuck your face, Danny. I’m not going to hold your head still - you can pull back if you have to, or turn your face to the side so you can talk. Is that okay?”

“But I like when you hold my head still,” Dan blurts before he can think.

Ross gives him an admiring look. “You really are a kinky little shit. I like this Danny. But I also don’t want you not to have a way to tell me to stop, so. Maybe I can just pull your hair?”

Dan is pretty sure his eyes actually light up. “Please do that, yes.”

“Since you asked so nicely, sure.”

Dan watches Ross take the belt from the fluffy hotel bathrobe, his breath coming short and fast in his anticipation. Ross’s lips are curved in a smirk that looks as wicked as it does tempting.

“Hands behind your back,” Ross orders with relish, whirling the belt in the air like a lasso and accidentally smacking himself in the face.

Dan’s too turned on to dwell on how ridiculous Ross looks. He hurries to comply, shifting his knees to get settled as comfortably as he can. Ross, grinning ear-to-ear, ties the belt around Dan’s wrists and spends a good few minutes fussing with what seems like a very complicated knot. Dan can’t see what he’s doing, nor can he see Ross’s tongue between his teeth as he anxiously makes sure that every detail is exactly how it was in the guide he’d read - but he trusts Ross to keep him safe.

“You ready for my dick?” Ross asks brightly. He bounces to his feet and stands in front of Dan. “You know what sucks - besides you in about thirty seconds - is that I’m gonna come so fast. You look fucking _hot_ , Danny. It should be illegal for you to look this hot.” 

Dan looks up at Ross’s face, wordless with his need. The feeling of his hands tied behind his back is incredible. He wets his lips and Ross groans.

“Come on, Dan,” he says in his Aussie drawl. “Suck it.”

It’s more difficult than he’d realized. Ross doesn’t take his cock in hand and offer it to him. Dan has to sit up and lean forward and awkwardly fumble to get the velvety wet head in his mouth. The natural curve of Ross’s dick makes it constantly in danger of slipping out and springing back against Ross’s stomach. Dan is forced to take in almost half of Ross‘s dick in order to keep it within reach. They’re at a strange angle, too; Dan likes it best when Ross is lying down on his back with Dan at his side, curved in on himself. When he rests his legs by lowering himself back down Ross’s cock presses up against the roof of his mouth. It’s hard for Dan to focus on keeping his teeth away and keeping himself upright at the same time. Maintaining any sort of rhythm is next to impossible.

But it’s what Ross wants, and Dan is practically on another dimensional plane somewhere closer to heaven when he hears Ross’s enthusiastic praise. He shuffles forward and takes in more, not bothering to try and stop himself from drooling down his chin. The only technique that seems to work is flicking his tongue up against the underside.

Ross moans with appreciation. Dan opens his eyes and looks up at him imploringly.

“Yeah?” Ross asks hoarsely. “You want more? Want me to pull your hair?”

Dan nods and makes a garbled noise of assent.

“Fuck,” Ross says, and grabs two fistfuls of Dan’s curls. 

Dan moans louder than Ross at the ferocity of Ross’s pulling. It feels like his hair is going to be ripped out of the fucking roots and it’s incredible - just what he wanted. Dan bobs his head as best as he can, turning his head and shifting his knees to try to find the best possible angle. At one point Ross’s dick slips out and Dan has to struggle to get it back in his mouth, but Ross doesn’t seem to mind. 

“Good,” Ross says encouragingly. “That’s really good. Suck a little harder, hollow your cheeks more.”

Dan tries. But without leverage, it’s difficult. In his concentration, he almost loses his balance. To compensate he leans too far forward and Ross’s cock hits the back of his throat. He gags thickly, his eyes tearing up.

Ross grabs his hair and pulls him back. His cock pops out of Dan’s mouth with a wet smack. Dan gasps for breath. A string of spit connects his bottom lip to Ross’s cock. It’s messy and disgusting and so fucking good that Dan doesn’t ever want it to stop. 

“Breathe, Dan,” Ross says firmly. “Don’t force yourself, okay?”

“ _Please,_ ” Dan gasps out, sounding tight and needy and faltering. “Please, I want it.”

“You want what?” Ross yanks at Dan’s hair again.

Dan’s beyond words. His whole body is on fire and his cock is so hard it’s starting to hurt. He just whimpers and opens his mouth, looking at Ross desperately. 

“Fuck,” Ross gasps, his composure slipping, “fuck, yeah, alright, you can have it - ”

Ross uses his grip on Dan’s hair to plunge his mouth back down. Dan moans in pure ecstasy and sucks clumsily, messily, making disgusting wet noises that almost drown out Ross’s little cries of pleasure. Ross starts to rock his hips, fucking into Dan’s mouth, and Dan just _takes_ it, like he’s just a warm hole for Ross to fuck and nothing more. This time when Ross hits the back of his throat, Dan doesn’t gag. Instead, he swallows, his throat going tight around Ross’s dick.

It’s the final straw for Ross, who pulls out of Dan’s mouth with a groan. “Fuck, Danny,” he gasps, “get ready - close your eyes - ”

It takes Dan a moment to catch up with what’s happening. He keeps his eyes open long enough to see Ross fist his dick frantically, his hand a blur. Then he realizes, and understands, and tilts his face back with his eyes closed tight and his mouth open invitingly. 

The first spurt of hot cum on Dan’s cheek still takes him by surprise. Another spurt paints a stripe across his tongue, salty and musky and sweet, and Dan closes his mouth to swallow instinctively. The last weak splashes land on his lips and drip down his chin, mingling with his own saliva and making a sticky mess.

For a single moment Dan feels ridiculous. Then he hears Ross’s quiet intake of breath. When Dan opens his eyes he’s surprised to see Ross looking so flustered, staring down at Dan like he can’t believe he’s real.

“Fuck yeah, you’re so hot, baby,” Ross says, stroking Dan’s hair.

Dan feels like his whole body glows with the praise. He looks up at Ross adoringly. Ross curses under his breath and uses the head of his softening cock to smear his cum over Dan’s face, rubbing it in like lotion. Dan’s practically frozen, shocked at the filthiness of it all and how strongly he’s reacting to it. Ross rubs his dick over Dan’s lips and he opens his mouth without thinking, letting Ross wipe himself clean with Dan’s tongue. 

“Jesus, Dan.” Ross strokes Dan’s hair, gathering a handful at the back of Dan’s head and using it to tilt Dan’s face up. “You’ve been so good.” He unties the belt and gently takes Dan’s wrists in his hands, massaging them as he brings them around to the front. “Such a good boy for me, Danny.”

Dan moans, incoherent with pleasure at the praise bestowed on him. Despite his achingly hard cock he makes no effort to touch himself. Ross had told him not to. He’s a good boy for Ross, and he won’t disappoint him. 

“Get on the bed,” Ross tells him, not ungently. “On your back, unless it hurts your ass too much.”

It doesn’t hurt. The sheets are cool on his hot flesh. His cock twitches, red and swollen and needy. Dan trembles, his fists clenching. “I…I want…”

“What do you want? You wanna come?”

“Please yes, fuck, please make me come, Ross.”

“Now how am I going to do that?” Ross hops up on the bed and sits cross-legged beside Dan’s writhing body. “Hmm,” he drawls, sounding more like himself again. He runs a hand down Dan’s chest, to his stomach, to the base of his dick. “There are so many fun things I could do to you.”

“Anything, fuck, please let me come, Ross,” Dan begs, as if he didn’t have two perfectly capable hands. In his head he’s pretending to be tied up and helpless, unable to disobey.

Ross wraps his slim fingers around Dan’s shaft. Dan bucks his hips and gasps out loud. “It’s so easy to make you happy,” Ross observes as he starts to jack Dan‘s cock up and down. “So easy to make you come. You probably could get off just from my feet around your cock. That felt so weird, you have no idea. Like it’s the last texture your feet expect. It’s so soft and so _hot_. Like, the temperature is hot, I mean. And its so hard to make feet grip like that without going way too hard.”

Ross’s prattling was frequently punctuated by Dan’s cries, to which he paid no mind. Dan was drowning in Ross’s voice, his touch, friction spiralling pleasure up his spine and butterfly-tingling in his belly. His arms splay out and he claws at the bed like he’s scared he might float right off. Ross’s skilled hand was working him so good, rapidly propelling Dan toward his climax. 

Ross’s free hand pushes Dan’s thighs apart. He cups Dan’s balls in his palm, then lets his fingers caress the intimate spot just behind them. “Your feet are big. They probably couldn’t give a proper foot job. Not that I want to, really, it’s just I want you to feel what it’s like. It was like a new kind of tickling. You’re _really_ wet, by the way. Look at all this pre. It almost looks like you already came.”

“I’m - I’m - _Ross_ \- ”

“No you’re not. _I’m_ Ross. You’re Dan.” 

Every word is a massive effort. Dan gulps air into his lungs. The cum on his face is drying tacky, like glue. He’s a mess and he loves it. “Ross, fuck, I’m so - so close - ”

“Of course you are. I’m good at this. Hold still and let me make you come.” 

And with that, Ross just bends forward and opens his mouth. 

Dan had already been at the very edge, almost falling over into the abyss. Near-frozen with shock and pleasure, he tries his best to hold himself back, but his efforts are futile. For maybe ten seconds he enjoys the feeling of Ross’s wet mouth before he finally gives in and lets go. 

The force of his orgasm is like being struck full in the face and pinned underwater by a wave, helpless and tumbling, all senses washed away. Dan’s spine arches and his toes curl. Stars burst behind his eyelids, flaring bright, then slowly fading, fading onto oblivion, the sparks falling and Dan sinking with them.

Ross works every last drop with his lips and tongue and swallows it all with ease. For once he doesn’t torture Dan’s over stimulated dick. “Good boy,” he whispers, kissing the head of Dan’s cock once. Then he’s sitting back up, smacking his lips in apparent appreciation of the taste. Dan hears him gulp noisily at his water bottle.

After a few seconds Ross touches Dan‘s shoulder gently. “Hey, you want some water, Dan?”

Dan manages a grunt. Water sounds nice, but he can’t move quiet yet. He stays sprawled boneless on the bed. His breathing is heavy, his body twitching as the aftershocks dimmed to a light, tingling hum through his veins. Eventually he can feel his strength start to return, but his brain is still somewhere else, somewhere far away from Earth, floating along happily.

“Danny?” Ross asks plaintively. “Danny, are you okay? Are you broken?”

“I’m good,” Dan murmurs. “I’ll be okay in a minute. Just gonna rest my eyes.”

“Okay. I’m gonna clean you up, alright?”

“Mmkay.”

Dan comes down from the clouds slowly, drifting like a leaf on the wind. He hears Ross walking around, feels Ross wiping his face off with a warm wet cloth, but everything else is white noise. It takes some time for the real world to start bleeding back into place. It starts with Dan recognizing the sound of cars outside, the distant clang of something in the pipes, then the sounds of Ross’s bare feet on the wooden floor. When he opens his eyes the hotel room is perfectly normal - and so is Dan. 

“Are you with us yet?” comes Ross’s inquisitive voice. He’s back in his boxers and a pair of Dan’s pyjama pants that are rolled up at the cuff. “I thought you were gonna pass right out on me.”

Dan grins dazedly. “I’m fine, dude. I was just - feeling kind of high, or something. Coming down now.”

Ross lets out all his breath. “Good. Come back to me. I need you.”

“I would never leave you,” Dan promises.

Eventually Dan is able to sit up and swing his legs over the side of the bed. Ross immediately sits beside him. Dan smiles and takes Ross’s face in his hands. “I love you,” he says, punctuating the sentiment with a kiss. “Love you so much, Ross. You were really good. I‘ve never felt that good before.”

Ross kisses back, clearly pleased. “It was a lot of fun. Much more fun than sportsball.”

“It wasn’t as intimidating as I thought it was going to be,” Dan reflects. “I thought I had to be so _prepared_. Like we had to sit down and have meetings about what we wanted to happen. But instead we just - ”

“Went with the flow,” finishes Ross, with a shrug. “I like it better that way, myself.”

Dan nods slowly. “I think I do, too. There’s no expectations or disappointments. There’s just - the two of us, trying new things, seeing what works. It’s a lot less scary.”

“I think so too. And I like improvising,” Ross agrees.

Dan’s mind is already racing, thinking of all the other things he’s ever dared to fantasize about, all the possibilities that lay open to them. He’d always been scared of pain - but now that he’s tried it, and loved it, that boundary doesn’t exist, either. There’s a hundred things he wants to do to Ross and even more that he wants Ross to do to him. And he knows that he can count on Ross to make time for him, and respect his boundaries, to look out for his well-being. 

“You know what we should do? We should get room service.” Ross flops on his back and snuggles down into the sheets. “I’m hungry.”

“What do you want?” Dan finds the menu provided and flips through it. 

“A cheeseburger and a Mountain Dew.”

“Seems like a nice healthy way to balance the five servings of nachos you had at the game.”

“It’s all the food groups.”

“Yeah, if sugar and cheese were food groups, then sure.”

“The nachos had tomatoes and cheese and meat on them.”

“Tomatoes that you made me pick off for you,” Dan points out.

“I was holding my beer so I couldn’t. Can you get them to put bacon on the cheeseburger please?”

Dan gets Ross’s burger and the chicken alfredo for himself. He hadn’t realized he was hungry until Ross mentioned food. He’s so high from the post-orgasm endorphins and so distracted by the glowing sunburn-like pain on his ass that he’d forgotten that they’d both missed dinner.

The service is quick, and the food is good. Ross’s burger is practically as big as his head and he beams when he sees it. He sits on the small couch and puts his feet up on the coffee table.

“Find something fun to watch,” Ross commands, stuffing half the burger into his mouth. Mayo and ketchup ooze from the corners of his lips. 

“Make me,” Dan answers cheekily, sitting next to him and stealing a sip of Mountain Dew.

Ross snorts and waves the burger threateningly. “If you want another spanking that bad, you gotta wait about twenty minutes until my dick remembers how to get hard again.”

“Really?” Dan’s impressed. “You could go again if you tried?”

“Well, yeah.” Ross swallows noisily. “I’m not like fifty years old, like you.”

“Fifty?” Dan’s indignant. “I’m not even _forty_ , you little whippersnapper.”

“You’re a cougar.”

“You’re only eight years younger than me, you know. And I don’t think you can call men _cougars_.”

“It is twenty-fuckin’-eighteen and women can be whatever they want to be and men can absolutely be cougars, _Dan_.”

“I guess you’re right. There’s no word for a male cougar, right?”

“Sugar daddy.”

Dan winces. “Ew, Ross. That’s - just no.”

“Put on _Castlevania_ , old man,” Ross demands, undaunted, “or else.”

“Or else what?”

“Or else I’ll have to get ketchup all over the remote.”

“You _do_ have napkins,” grumbles Dan. But he obeys - of course he does. It’s Ross, and Dan would give him the world to see him smile. 

“Hey. Dan. Guess what I just thought of.”

“What?”

“Man-ther,” Ross says with a grin.

Dan laughs so hard he nearly chokes on his pasta. 

Ross, obviously pleased with himself and Dan’s reaction, leans back and oozes complacency as Dan’s giggles subside. 

By the time Dan’s started in on his pasta, Ross’s burger is gone. Ross watches TV in patient silence, very much used to Dan being a slow eater. 

When he’s done too, Dan stretches languidly. He’s a little sore - the muscles in his thighs ache, and his ass feels thoroughly roasted - but somehow it’s verging closer to pleasant than uncomfortable. He can feel his eyelids growing heavy. The TV fails to hold his attention and he gazes at Ross instead. Dan loves his artless profile, the strength of his jaw, the inquisitive shape of his mouth. He almost laughs to himself as he remembers his old fears. Nothing will ever change - Ross is and will always be his bizarre and beautiful pixie self, his mind always in some other mysterious realm as if he weren’t from this planet at all. 

Dan makes a small noise and puts his arm up on the back of the couch invitingly. Ross immediately curls up in the provided space against Dan’s side with a yawn.

Dan’s three thousand miles from LA, but, snuggled up against Ross, he couldn’t feel more at home.


	4. Chapter 4

The smell of food rouses Dan from his impromptu nap on the padded green vinyl benches of the Grump kitchen. He opens his eyes to see Arin standing in the doorway, holding a paper bag with a familiar logo. Dan’s stomach growls at the sight. It’s from his favourite Thai restaurant.

“Is that for me?” Dan asks, sitting up with a yawn. He rubs his eyes with his fists and crosses his legs in front of him, looking like the world’s biggest kindergartner. “I thought you were just out to grab Wendy’s.”

Arin shrugs. “It looked like you needed a pick me up, too.” His bare feet are loud on the floor as he tromps over to sit beside Dan. “I came in to ask you what you wanted before I left, but you were already totally passed out.”

“I’m a sleepy sheepy today,” Dan agrees as he lays his head on Arin’s soft shoulder. It’s more comfortable than a pillow. “Thanks, man.”

“No problem.” Arin unwraps his burger, taking care not to jostle Dan’s head. “Aren’t you gonna eat it before it gets cold?”

Dan snarls out another yawn. The food is tempting, but so is sleep. He’s so tired he feels like he’s floating. “Gonna eat it. Just let me…rest my eyes for a few more seconds…”

He’d gotten maybe three, maybe four hours of sleep the night before. His bed had felt cold and lonely. He found himself curling up on the left side, making room for Ross who always slept on the right - but Ross wasn’t there. Ross wasn’t in Dan’s house. He wasn’t even in the same state. It’s not unusual for him to be gone this long, and even when he‘s home he spends more time with Holly than with Dan, of course - but something just keeps catching in Dan’s throat whenever he feels Ross’s absence, a little touch of heartsickness that he can’t shake. 

Arin’s shoulder gives a little shimmy. Dan’s head jerks up and he lets out an unflattering noise that sounds like a mix between a snort and a grunt. “What?” 

“Dude. I think your eyes are rested.”

“Did I fall asleep again?” Dan gives himself a mental shake. “Oh. ‘M sorry.”

“It’s fine. Just stop drooling on me and eat your food,” Arin orders amiably. 

Dan registers the wet patch on Arin’s sleeve and the crustiness of his own chin. “How long was I out?”

“Maybe ten minutes?” Arin says as he opens Dan’s takeout containers for him. 

Dan perks up at the sight. There’s coconut soup, and papaya salad, and tofu spring rolls with five containers of the dipping sauce that Arin knew Dan loved. 

“Ooh, you got me extra dippies,” Dan says, delighted.

That makes Arin smile. “Only the best for my main man Dan.”

“I’m your main man? Aw, Arin! You’re my main man too.”

“Ross will be pretty disappointed to hear that,” quips Arin.

Dan forces himself to laugh even as all his heart-strings get pulled at once as he remembers all over again that Ross is gone for two whole weeks. 

“Not hungry?” Arin asks, breaking the awkward silence.

Dan shakes his head. “No, no, it’s not - I’m starving, actually.” To prove his point, he takes a big bite. “Mmm, it’s good. Thank you.”

“Did you and Ross have a fight?”

Dan frowns at him. “What? No, we’re fine. Why would you think we had a fight?”

“You’ve been moping around all day looking like someone kicked a puppy.”

“Oh.” Dan can’t exactly deny it. “Yeah, I guess. I’m just feeling a little bummed. Ross is gone for a long time, you know?” 

“Yeah.” Arin looks closely at him. “With Jared, right?”

“And Holly, and Heidi,” Dan amends, maybe with too much emphasis.

Arin’s perceptive eyes pierce through him. “Right,” he says. “Are you not happy about that?”

Dan’s not jealous. He doesn’t begrudge Ross spending time with his best friends. He’s considered the possibility that things between Ross and Jared might veer slightly toward the romantic. But what of it? Dan himself had entertained thoughts about Holly; and they weren’t entirely unrequited. She had recently begun to open up to Dan in a way that made Dan’s heart double-thump like it did for Ross, although things were progressing very slowly. Ross was probably the most fervent supporter of this possible relationship and had been from day one. 

It was stupid, then, that Dan could be jealous over Ross maybe liking Jared.

“I am happy,” Dan protests, but his insistence falls flat after taking so long to answer Arin. “He’s probably having a great time.”

“Yeah,” Arin agrees, “probably. That wasn’t my question.”

“Well, I, um.” Dan starts in on the spring rolls to stall for time. “I just miss him a lot, and it’s stupid because we don’t even live together, and I’d probably only see him three times in these two weeks if he hadn’t gone, so - ”

“Is it because he likes Jared?” Arin asks, quiet but blunt.

Dan plays dumb. “I like Jared too. He’s funny.”

“Dan.”

“What?”

“Don’t _what_ me. You know what I was really asking.”

Dan forces himself to make eye contact. “He’s…he’s never come right out and said it. I know they’ve kissed a long time ago and I’ve seen them flirt online.”

“Online?”

“On Twitter, and, um…” Dan trails off as he sees the expression on Arin’s face. “Maybe it’s nothing, really.”

“If you’re jealous, you really should let Ross know.”

Dan’s cheeks heat up. “I’m not jealous, okay? Ross doesn’t belong to me and he can do whatever he wants.” And jesus fuck, that sounded defensive as all hell. Dan tries to redeem himself. “I’d be a hypocrite if I had any sort of problem with Ross liking someone else.”

“Why?” asks Arin, nonchalant.

“Oh, I don’t know.” Exhaustion makes Dan sarcastic. “Maybe because he’s already _married._ The whole reason we’re together is because we don’t like commitment.”

“You mean monogamy, not commitment.”

“Same thing.”

“It really isn’t, Dan. You two are dating, aren’t you? That’s a commitment.”

“Well, yeah,” Dan has to concede, “but is it really _commitment_ for people who are poly? They can just date as many people as they want, or as few.”

“Is that what poly means to you?” 

When Dan doesn’t answer - he knows in his heart that what he’d just said was rather ignorant - Arin presses further. “Do you think Ross feels that way about Holly sometimes? She’s dating Jared, right?”

Dan shrugs. “Ross said they’re really casual about it. More like good friends with benefits. And he wouldn’t care if it went further than that.”

“Why not?”

“Because he doesn’t have to worry,” Dan says, a little exasperated. “He _knows_ Holly loves him best, they’re _married_ , and yeah, I know that love isn’t a ranking system, but - he knows she’s always going to come home to him.”

Arin cuts to the heart of it right away. “But you think you have a reason to worry.”

Dan dodges the point. “I just want him to be happy. He’s not doing anything wrong if - if something develops between him and Jared.”

“But it would hurt your feelings.”

“I’m a sensitive guy, Arin,” Dan answers, forcibly lightly. “My feelings are pretty delicate.”

“Does Ross know how you feel?”

“You think I told my married polyamorous boyfriend that it would hurt my feelings if he fucked someone else?” 

“Well, what sort of rules do you guys have about dating or fucking other people?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you supposed to talk to each other first, or just, you know, make sure you say something afterward if sex does happen?”

Dan frowns. “I’m sure he’d tell me after, just to, you know, be safe sexually.”

“You’ve never even discussed this?”

“We’re busy people,” Dan says defensively. 

“You spend most of your free time with him.”

Dan blushes. “Yeah, and we’re usually, um, pretty busy, when we hang out.”

“Gross,” Arin says. “But maybe also try talking to each other once in a while.”

“We do. Maybe it hasn’t come up. Or maybe he just assumes I know what I’m doing with poly stuff.”

“Neither of you should assume anything. You need to let him know how you feel, okay? If you’re really upset, maybe you guys can talk about whether or not you’re cool with the Jared thing.”

“He should be allowed to do whatever he wants.”

Arin just sighs. “That’s something you guys have to decide _before_ shit like this happens. You’re allowed to feel the way you do, and you’re allowed to express it. Besides, maybe you’re reading too much into things. I think Ross would tell you if he planned on hooking up.”

“Yeah,” Dan says vaguely, already tired of the subject. “Maybe.”

“You’re just in a funky headspace. You’ll realize I’m right when you snap out of it.”

“You’re probably right.”

“I usually am.” Arin hugs him suddenly. “Talk to him about it, okay? You know he cares about you.”

He’s not wrong. Dan doesn’t doubt Ross’s love for him. The only thing he doubts is himself. He’s not being fair. Ross is so good to him - he shouldn’t have to change his established lifestyle to suit Dan’s sudden outburst of jealousy. Dan knows Arin has good intentions, but Arin often has rose-coloured glasses on when it comes to relationship advice. Dan had never believed the idea that every person had one perfect match somewhere in the world, but Arin and Suzy truly were two halves of a predestined whole.

When Arin leaves the room, Dan’s phone _dings_ and his heart skips a beat. Maybe there’s finally a text back from Ross. Before he can fumble it out of his pocket there are five more _dings_ in rapid succession - almost definitive proof that it was indeed Ross, spam-texting as usual.

 _Sry for not replying. I had my phone off during an imax movie about birds and flying stuff_  
 _Its called Conquest of the Skies and Holly wants to see it again so maybe you can take her bc David Attenborough makes me sleepy_  
 _oh and we’re at the Pacific Science Centre and we saw naked mole rats!!_   
_did you know they can live for thirty years?_  
 _and they don’t feel pain_  
 _scientists think they might hold the cure for cancer!_

Ross’s energy is contagious and Dan smiles like an idiot as he reads. He can’t think of anything to say back except _I miss you so fucking much_ , which seems like it would be a downer. So instead he sends a happy face and types, _Show me the naked mole rats?_

Ross obliges with seven pictures in a row of the ugliest-looking creatures Dan’s ever seen in his life - naked, flesh-coloured phallic rats with tiny black button eyes, big doofy fangs, and far too many wrinkles.

_Holly and Jared loved them so much. I got scared because one of them was looking at me._

Dan laughs out loud and eats the rest of his spring rolls with renewed vigor. _I’m pretty sure they’re blind._

_nope ur wrong_   
_they can see a little bit_

_Did you know there’s a species of mole rat in Israel? They’re not naked though. I saw one once and it was really cute._

_Show me_

Dan obligingly Googles for pictures and sends the best one to Ross.

In return he gets a close-up picture of Ross’s face. He looks as sleepy as Dan is now, with the extra wrinkle in his forehead that Dan always notices after Ross has spent a night out drinking. In the pale grey light of the overcast sky, Dan can see Ross’s baby stubble starting to form a shadow on his upper lip. Even unkempt and obviously hungover, he’s fucking gorgeous, and Dan gazes wistfully at his phone until he misses Ross so much it hurts. 

The caption Ross sends along is simple and sweet.

_hey baby wish u were here_

Dan smiles and sends back the heart eyes emoji. _I wish I was there with you too, Ross._

Ross’s answer is whip-quick. 

_no I mean on my face_

_Oh my God, Ross!_

_aw yeah_   
_you wanna take a ride on this stache?_

Dan’s laughter is so loud and hysterical that Arin and Brian both feel the need to come to check on him with identical puzzled looks that only make him laugh harder.

Maybe they hadn’t actually talked anything out - but Dan feels a thousand times better, fortified with food and Ross’s endearingly gross humour.

**

Later, Dan curls up on his couch with a book he’d borrowed from Arin.

He gets through one chapter without really absorbing any of it and tries to begin another. Eventually he finds himself reading the same line three times in a row and comes to realize that he can’t make any sense of the jumbled words on the page. Frustrated, he flips back, trying to find the point where his brain had stopped working.

His phone sits on the coffee table in front of him, blank and silent. Dan tries not to look at it out of the corner of his eye. After the texts earlier that afternoon, Ross had fallen silent again. Of course there was a good reason for it. Maybe he was at a movie again. Maybe his hangover had driven him to sleep early. Maybe he was spending romantic time with Holly - or Jared.

Dan’s not jealous. Not at all. How could he be? He’d told Brian how much he loved having romance without commitment. Everyone knows that commitment makes Dan itchy, that Dan likes having his own house and his own space.

But two whole weeks without Ross was turning out to be a really fucking long time. And six hours without a text didn’t feel great, either.

It’s ridiculous to be so clingy, Dan tells himself firmly.

But he keeps eyeing his phone, wondering if he should just give Ross a call.

But no - it’s eleven o’clock on a Friday night - Ross is probably out somewhere, having fun. As he should be. Maybe he’s at a bar, maybe letting Jared take him on a pub crawl through Seattle. Maybe he’s at Jared and Heidi’s house, everyone playing video games together. Ross sitting cross-legged in front of the couch like a giant kid, trying his very best not to win but to sabotage the others. Maybe he’s in bed, with Holly, or Jared, or both.

Dan closes the book without marking his place and puts it aside. 

He’s not jealous - he’s not - he won’t let himself be.

But he picks up the phone and calls Ross.

To his surprise, Ross picks up on the first ring. “Danny?” he asks, sounding out of breath. “Oh, hey, uh, what’s up?”

Dan wonders what the hell Ross is doing. He never exercises and rarely exerts himself. “Did I interrupt something? I can call you back…”

“No, no, just - I didn’t expect you to call.” Ross’s laugh is high-pitched. “I was actually just thinking about you.”

“Were you?” Dan asks, surprised. “Aw, Ross!”

Dan can hear the little rustles and thumps of Ross moving around. “Yeah. I was, um, actually gonna call you, when I was done.”

“Done what? If you’re busy with your friends, I can call you back - ”

“I’m alone. Holly’s out with Jared at a movie. Heidi went too, with her new girlfriend. They’ll probably be back in a couple hours.”

“And they didn’t invite you?” That seems strange to Dan.

“I told them I was tired and wanted to nap. We all usually stay up late playing video games, so they bought it.”

“So what are you doing now?” Dan asks, puzzled. “ _Were_ you napping? Did I wake you up?”

“I, um. I was in the middle of - ”

Dan clicks and recognizes the way Ross sounds, why he‘s breathing in quick little gasps. He wasn’t normally so slow on the uptake, but it’s not like Ross to be shy. “Ah, shit, did I interrupt your hot JO sesh?”

Ross laughs again, more easily this time. “Yeah. Yeah, you did.”

“Want to call me back after you - ”

“Wait, wait,” Ross cuts in, sounding excited. “You could join me?”

“What, like phone sex?”

“What? Is that a weird concept to you?” Ross demands. “You’ve never had phone sex?”

“I mean, I’ve - flirted, over the phone, I guess. But I’ve never, um, touched myself while doing it. Why, have you?”

“No,” Ross admits, “but I’m not a dinosaur like you, so I figured maybe it was because I didn’t have sex until after the Internet and webcams were a thing. People don’t really do phone sex any more.”

Dan frowns. “People still do phone sex. You can still call those numbers.”

“There are still phone sex lines? Has nobody told these people about the Internet?” Ross rustles around, doing god knows what and sending static down the line. “Hold on, I’m gonna take off my clothes.”

“Jesus, Ross.” Dan closes his eyes and listens, trying to pick out the different sounds - Ross taking off his shirt, Ross shimmying his pants down his legs, the couch creaking as Ross sits back down. “Are you, um, fully naked?”

“Yeah. Well, I’m wearing socks because the floor is cold. Do you think maybe I should close the curtains?”

Dan snorts out loud. “Um, yeah, that probably should have been your first step, Ross.”

“And maybe you should get naked too.”

“But it’s cold in here.”

“So? Get your clothes off.” Ross still sounds playful, but there’s a hint of something more lurking beneath - somethin like the way he sounded back in that hotel room in Philly, bossing Dan around.

Dan isn’t sure this is the place to push those buttons, but thinking of that night makes him feel a little warmer, a little more into Ross’s crazy idea. “Yeah, okay. Give me a minute. Let me put the phone down and I’ll - ”

“Put it on speaker, dingus.”

“Oh. Oh, yeah, right, okay.” Dan does so, feeling a little foolish. It’s hard to think straight. He places the phone strategically on the coffee table, his mind forming a picture of Ross, naked and gorgeous, a big smirk on his face and his hand working his dick. 

“Talk to me,” demands Ross. “Tell me what you’re doing.”

“I’m, um, thinking about you.” Dan laughs a little at how ridiculous he sounds. “I’m trying to work myself up.”

“Yeah? Is it that hard?”

“To go from zero to sixty? Well, I mean, I’m sorry I can’t just summon up a rock-hard dick on demand - ”

“What do you mean? Dan, all I have to do is _look_ at you, and you crack a fatty.”

“Excuse me?” Dan splutters. “Crack a what?”

“Pop a boner. Get an erection. You know.”

“I most certainly do _not_ know. That sounds terrible. Is that an Aussie thing?”

“Getting a boner?”

“What? Okay, you know what - never mind. Just…give me a minute, okay?” 

Ross gives him maybe fifteen seconds, which is impressive. “What are you thinking about now?” His speech is a little stunted, a little slurred around the edges. The slick sounds coming from him are louder than before. He’s sped up, and he’s clearly been at it for a while. Dan breaks a sweat thinking about Ross’s desperate little face.

Vocalizing it is more difficult than Dan would have thought, but he makes the effort. If Ross wants his help, that’s enough motivation to try. “I’m thinking about - your hand on your cock. How hot you look when you touch yourself.”

“You wish it could be you touching me instead?”

That answer comes easier. “God, yes. Want you here so bad, Ross. I miss you.”

“Would you get on your knees and let me fuck that mouth again?”

Dan’s breath catches. “Jesus, Ross, I - yes, fuck, of course.”

“Yeah,” Ross sighs, “yeah, I don’t even have to ask, do I? I could just shove your head down and you’d open up and take it. Are you naked yet?”

Dan‘s heart beats faster at Ross‘s easy vulgarity. “I’m getting there. Fuck, hold on.” It doesn’t feel as cold in the living room. Dan pulls his T-shirt over his head and tosses it over the back of the couch. He’s just wearing pyjama bottoms and boxers, easy to pull down and off without even standing up.

“Hurry up and start jacking off already,” Ross orders. 

“Pushy,” Dan says, his voice a little tight as he obeys. He’s not fully hard yet but a few strokes of his hand accompanied by a sweet moan from Ross changes that in a hurry. 

“You know what I’m gonna do to you when I get home?”

There’s so much fucking heat in his voice that Dan groans and strokes himself more firmly. “Wh-what are you gonna do to me?”

“I’m gonna tie you to the headboard,” Ross says, his voice strained. “Gonna tie you up so you can’t move and you’re on your knees and I’m gonna fuck myself on that huge cock all night.”

Dan gasps and squeezes himself, pre-come beading at his tip. “Oh fuck, Ross, please.”

“What am I gonna tie you up with? You better have something waiting.”

“I’ll buy handcuffs,” Dan blurts. He wets his hand with a swipe of his tongue - he has lube, of course, fancier ones than he’d ever used before he began fucking Ross on the regular - but he likes the edge of frustration that comes from doing it almost dry like this, like he’s being made to do it just for Ross. His body is on fucking fire and his head is all foggy, like he’s sinking into a cloud, floating numb and blissful. 

“Yeah?” Ross prods. “Fuzzy ones? Metal ones?”

“L-leather ones.”

“Fake leather, or Holly will hurt us.”

“Fake leather,” Dan gasps. “Fuckin, PVC or whatever the fuck.”

“You sure you wanna keep those around? I’m gonna tie you up all the fuckin’ time. Gonna handcuff you to the underside of my desk and use your mouth whenever I feel like it.”

Dan‘s brain short-circuits. “ _Please._ ”

“Please what?”

“Please, I want that.” Dan’s hips are bucking up into his hand, fucking his fist loosely. “I want to suck your dick so bad.”

Ross laughs, and Dan’s face burns with delicious humiliation. “Of course you do. You’re such a big slut for me.”

“ _Ross…_ ”

“What? You totally are. You went from being terrified of giving me a blowjob to wanting me to tie you up and come on your face, in the span of like, three months. Fuck, that was hot. This feels so good. I love jacking off. I wish I had a dildo.”

There are so many things happening. Dan’s found his rhythm now and the added slickness is making him dizzy with pleasure. He’s slow to keep up with Ross’s verbosity, but that last word makes him jump. “Do you normally just…travel with one, or…?” 

“I don’t even have one anymore. I mean, I have you, and that’s a _lot_ better.”

“What happened to the one you, um, had, the one time when - ”

“The one I bought for you?” Ross laughs. “I think I put it in your closet?”

“There’s a dildo in my closet?”

“I put it back in the box, Dan, I didn’t just like, suction cup it to the wall in there. Why, do you want to go get it?”

He says it so fucking casually, as if Dan put stuff up his ass all the time. His cock throbs and little prickles of heat spread up his spine. “Do you…want me to?”

“Do _you_ want me to want you to?”

Dan inhales shakily. “Ross. I - I want you to - tell me.”

“Tell you?”

“Make me,” Dan manages, so faint that Dan isn’t even sure that Ross heard him.

Ross goes quiet, and when he speaks again, he is voice is rough and mocking and so fucking hot. “Go get your toy. Wanna hear you moan when you fuck yourself for the first time. Show me how much you miss me, how fuckin’ desperate you are.”

“Where is it?”

“What was that? That didn’t sound like _yes sir_.”

“ _Fuck_ , Ross, okay, I - yes, sir.”

“I’m pretty sure I put the box up on the first shelf in the left corner. It’s a black box with a silver shiny logo. Leave the phone here but hurry up.”

Dan springs from the couch with a speed that startles even himself. He leaves the phone as ordered - he can hear Ross cackling at him - and takes the stairs two at a time, his hard dick bobbing ridiculously between his legs. 

The box is right where Ross said it would be. Dan picks it up without thinking, his brain on autopilot, his breath coming in short gasps. He grabs lube from the nightstand too - the first bottle he sees that he knows he’s used with Ross - and goes back downstairs with his heart in his throat. He’s so hard it fucking hurts.

“I’m back,” Dan blurts, dumping the box and the lube onto the couch. “Should I - ”

“Did you get the dildo out?”

“Give me a second, okay.”

“Get it out of the box.”

“Yes, _sir_ ,” Dan rolls his eyes and smiles. “That was the plan.”

“Don’t get sassy with me. Just get it out.”

Dan opens the box and - yep, okay, that’s a dildo, just sitting loose in the box. It’s smaller than he remembers. It’s nothing crazy - just a really small, slightly curved smooth dick, made of silicone, with tapered head and a flared base that looks like a half-finished set of balls. It’s maybe an inch shorter than Ross’s cock but not nearly as thick. It’s a pretty light blue colour, kind of like Ross’s eyes. That thought makes Dan laugh at himself - what a romantic comparison. 

“What’s so funny?”

“The dildo is the same colour as your eyes,” Dan explains.

“Aw, Danny, that’s sweet. Thank you.”

“How is that _sweet_?”

“Well, I bought it because I thought it was a pretty colour for you. So you’re basically calling my eyes pretty.”

“Your eyes _are_ pretty. I tell you so all the time.”

Ross makes a pleased noise and Dan imagines his face going all radiant and sunny like it does when Dan gives him a compliment. “Thank you. Do you have lube?”

Dan blinks. “Yes, I - ”

“The Astroglide?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“Put some on your fingers.”

Dan’s voice rises three octaves. “You want me to just - ”

“I didn’t say to shove them up your ass, okay, just - get a big bloop of it so you can put it on yourself. On your butt,” he amends, unnecessarily.

“Where else would I put it?” Dan grumbles, but obeys. He pumps one whole squirt onto his index and middle fingers and brings his legs up on the couch, knees bent and thighs spread. His face burns as he massages the cold lube around his hole. 

“What does it feel like?”

“Kind of weird,” Dan admits. “Really wet and weird.”

“If that was a title of a video on Pornhub, I’d click on it,” Ross says reflectively. “Just - massage yourself a little until you relax. It’s a sensitive area, it feels good just to touch it when it’s slippery.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, that’s why it feels so fucking good when you eat me out.”

Dan laughs out loud. He tries to follow Ross’s advice and is surprised to find that he’s right - now that he’s used to the wetness and the lube’s nice and warm, it feels good to stroke his dick lightly with one hand while the pads of his index and middle finger rub little circles over his hole. It’s not as good as touching his cock, but - Dan imagines Ross’s hot little tongue in place of his fingers, licking him delicately in such a private and intimate place, and he shivers with arousal.

“Oh,” Dan breathes. “ _Oh_. That’s…oh, Ross…”

“Make sure you put some more lube on the toy, too,” Ross encourages.

Dan does so, and then he gets bold. He grabs the base of the toy and reaches under his thigh to probe his asshole with it. Everything is so wet and slippery that he can barely hold on to it. The tip skids up his cleft and pokes him in the thigh, and Dan laughs at himself. 

“Is it in yet?” Ross asks him eagerly.

“Was I supposed to put it in already?”

“Dan, it’s like the size of a finger, it’ll go in so easy. Trust me.”

“It’s bigger than a finger!”

“Only a _little_ bit. But the texture of it, it’s like, softer than a finger, so it won’t feel like a lot.”

Dan isn‘t convinced by this logic. “I feel, um, pretty tight.”

“I know,” Ross soothes. “Do you trust me?”

“I trust you. I need - ”

“Yeah, I know. You need me to tell you what to do, yeah? Let’s get that tight little hole trained up to take cock like a pro.”

“ _Ross!_ ” Dan squeaks, his fingers slipping. “I - oh, my God.” He reels from the wave of arousal that crashes through him. A new level of urgency makes his dick swell even further, and something new is aching within him - an odd, empty feeling, like he wants - or needs - to be filled up, stretched, _taken…_

Dan strokes his dick firmly, panting harshly, his face turned toward the phone like it was Ross there watching him. He braces himself for mild pain. With his other hand, he slowly begins to put pressure on his hole. 

Nothing happens for a minute.

Dan doesn’t force it. He keeps the pressure steady and listens to the noises coming from Ross, who’s squirming and rustling and presumably still jacking his dick.

And then - “Aahh,” Dan inhales sharply as something _gives_ and the tip of the toy breeches him.

“Is it in?” Ross asks eagerly.

Dan breathes in deeply. It’s the strangest feeling - not unpleasant, not uncomfortable, but not pleasurable either. “Yeah, it’s - ”

“Does it hurt?”

Dan shakes his head and then remembers Ross can’t see him. “No,” he says, “and it’s barely even in, but it feels - I don’t know.”

“Keep touching yourself for me. Just leave the toy in you, just the tip. Make yourself feel good.”

Dan follows Ross’s advice. His erection is starting to flag, and he adds some lube to get himself excited again. There’s still no pain, and Dan stops being afraid that it’s suddenly going to hurt. He rocks his hips and tilts them forward, taking more of the toy, and it slips in him easily just as Ross had told him it would. 

“You don’t have to fuck yourself with it yet,” Ross says. “It feels good just like that, doesn’t it? Feels good being _full_.”

“It - it does,” Dan gasps, writhing on the couch, his bare skin prickly and oversensitive against the linen upholstery. It’s in deep enough that he can let go and bring his arm back up to a more comfortably position. He can tilt his hips and use his muscles to keep it from slipping out. When he clenches, the tiny toy feels enormous inside him, an insistent pressure that’s driving Dan insane. 

“Fuck,” he whimpers. “Oh, Ross, oh fuck, it’s so good. So big.”

Ross laughs. “If you think _that’s_ big, just think about what my cock would be like.”

Dan does let himself think about it, the visuals accompanied by a much stronger sense of what it would really be like - this desperate, throbbing pressure going up and up and up, his hole stretched and held open by Ross’s girth. He thinks about taking it on all fours - Ross kneeling behind him - maybe spanking him first -

His head lolls back and he lets out a low quavering moan.

“Yeah?” Ross’s voice is rough. “You like that idea? You finally want me to fuck you?”

“Yes, Ross, please!”

“Please what?”

“Please fuck me, do whatever you want, let me - let me feel what it’s really like, with your big dick, hold me down and _take_ me, fuck.” Dan barely registers what he’s saying. He’s so fucking far gone.

“Yeah?” Ross sounds so pleased with himself. “I’ll fuck you so good when I get home, I promise.”

Dan groans and reaches between his legs to grasp the flared end of the toy. He wiggles it back and forth gently, overwhelmed with the sensations it brings as it moves inside of him. It doesn’t feel like he’s being stretched too far anymore and the vague uncomfortable feeling had long since faded. 

“Tell me what you’re doing,” Ross demands. “Are you fucking yourself with your dildo?”

Dan splutters. “Ross!”

“What? You don’t like the word _dildo_? Neither does Holly, it’s so funny.”

“No, it’s not that - I - I think…I’m, um, just moving it a bit, and…”

“Feels good?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Good,” Ross says, satisfied. “Now pull it almost all the way out and push it back in.”

Dan obeys without question. The toy moves so easily in him, such a smooth glide. It doesn’t feel that good to pull it out - it feels, uncomfortably, a bit like using the bathroom - but when he pushes it back in all at once, smooth and steady, he gives a short scream. His aching cock jerks and streams pre-come down his reddened shaft. 

“Oh, my God, Ross!”

“You like that? Do it again. I love it when you scream like that. You sound so hot.”

Dan doesn’t need any prompting. His body is responding like he was _made_ to get fucked. Everything from his waist down is a blaze of sensation, his hole clenching around the toy. He takes a second to adjust his position on the couch and then firmly grabs his cock in one hand and the toy in the other and starts to pump them in unison.

His back arches and he throws his head back, hitting the arm of the couch too hard, hair falling over his eyes. His toes clench and curl until both his feet cramp. It’s pleasure like he’s never known before - a pleasure that envelops his entire body, not just his dick like when he jerks off. It thrums through his stomach and thighs, flares bright behind his eyelids, and all the while he’s making pornographic high-pitched cries.

And all the while he gets to hear Ross moaning back at him, and he sounds just as desperate.

“I’m gonna come, Danny,” Ross moans, so loud it goes tinny through the phone. “Oh, oh, _oh_ …”

Dan thinks about what Ross looks like when he comes - when Dan’s on top of him, fucking him, clumsily jerking him off while trying to keep his rhythm steady - Ross’s eyes wide and fixed on his face, his pupils blown, his pink mouth open in a perfect O. He holds the image in his mind as he tips over the edge and comes like a fucking fountain. He can feel the hot ropes of his own come splashing over his heaving stomach and spilling over his knuckles.

His climax burns brighter than the sun and is slow to fade, like the violet streak that follows a shooting star. Dan holds his breath in his tight chest and listens to Ross moan his name as he follows Dan to the heights of pleasure.

The moment stretches on and on, Dan hanging suspended in a perfect calm ecstasy with his eyes shut tight to the world around him, his fantasies in brilliant explosive colour. He embraces it, holds on for as long as he can before it slips away. This room doesn’t exist - Dan is in Ross’s bed, and Ross is just inches away - it’s only a matter of time before he’ll feel Ross’s arms sneak around his stomach, Ross’s sweaty little face burrowing into his neck. He’d smell like citrus and soap and sex and he’d murmur something filthy sweet into Dan’s ear, his eyelashes fluttering against Dan’s skin making him shiver.

And then the phone crackles with static, a bump like Ross accidentally kicked the coffee table while standing up. The illusion shatters. Reality creeps back in like water seeping into his shoes. 

Ross isn’t here - Ross is a thousand miles away - he’s with other people that he loves, and he’s going to stay up late and play video games with Jared again, four people crunched up tight on the couch - Holly on his right side and Jared on the left.

Dan opens his eyes and sits up, wincing as the dildo shifts inside his ass. It doesn’t feel pleasant at all anymore and, for the first time, there’s a nip of pain. Dan lifts his hips up off the couch and slips the toy free. There’s not much of a mess, to Dan’s relief. Next time he should probably put a towel down, or something. He sets the toy carefully back inside the box and uses the Kleenex on the coffee table to wipe the lube and come from his hands and chest. 

“You still there?” Ross asks, still sounding dreamy.

“Mmhmm,” Dan sighs, slumping boneless against the couch. “I love you, Ross.”

“I love you too. How’re you feeling?”

“Like I wanna sleep for a year.”

“I mean, like, your butthole. How’s that doing?”

“Um,” Dan laughs. “It’s, um, surviving?”

“Yeah, I sort of figured as much. It’s not like you fisted yourself. I mean does it hurt at all? Did you like it?”

“It doesn’t hurt,” Dan says honestly. “And yeah, I - I liked it. It feels kind of weird now, though.” He can still hardly believe what happened - that he’d done it with barely any hesitation. That he’d wanted _more_ , Jesus. “Wait, do people really fist themselves?”

“You’ve never seen that in porn?”

“I - what? I don’t watch fisting videos! I watch, you know, tame stuff! Normal stuff!”

“Didn’t you send me that fucked-up one where the guy’s dressed up as Spongebob?”

“Spongeknob Squarenuts is a Pornhub classic, okay. Besides, Arin was the one who found that one. I just passed it on.”

Ross cackles obnoxiously for a good twenty seconds, repeats, “Spongeknob Squarenuts,” and proceeds to laugh at himself some more until he runs out of breath and has Dan laughing too, mostly in sympathy with Ross.

“Anyway,” Ross resumes when their giggles have died off. “You should probably clean up. Maybe take a warm bath. Put some salt in it.”

“You mean bath salts?”

“Is that different from kitchen salt?”

“Yes, Ross.”

“How?”

“Ask Holly,” Dan says, which is his go-to answer when it comes to dealing with Ross’s most ridiculous questions.

“I’ll ask Jared,” Ross decides. “He’s got such nice soft skin. I bet he takes fancy baths.”

Dan’s stomach clenches and the smile fades from his face. He can’t think of what to say, so he just makes a vague noise.

“I think we’re gonna do a Twitch stream together,” Ross goes on. “Me and Jared, I mean. We were talking about doing a few episodes for his Let’s Play channel too. It was a lot of fun when he was on Guest Grumps. D’you remember when I played the Ninja Turtles game with him and Jirard? And he was the first guest we ever had on Grumpcade.”

There’s a lump growing in Dan’s throat. He struggles to swallow around it. He can’t remember the last time Ross wanted to record an episode with _him._ He was always busy with Game-o-verse - he didn’t even want to be in _Good Game_ when Dan Harmon offered him a small part - he had never once talked so wistfully about the early days of Steam Train when it was just the two of them. Ross didn’t have time to record with Dan but he always had time to stream Dungeons and Dragons with Jared.

And thirty seconds after what Dan had thought was an incredible, special moment - Ross’s mind had turned to Jared. Jared and his nice soft skin.

Dan knows he’s being small-minded and petty and he can‘t fucking help it. He isn’t sure where it’s coming from. He’d turned down time with Ross for work, too - of course he had. Dan spends more time with Brian and Arin at the office and Ross never complains. 

Ross is keeping up a steady stream of happy and oblivious chatter. He’s changed the subject somewhere along the line, because now he’s talking about the alley in downtown Seattle that was somehow a tourist attraction because it was covered in several thousand pounds of used chewing gum. 

Dan tries to pay attention - he really does - but in this state of mind, he can’t follow Ross’s style of nonlinear story-telling.

Eventually the line goes quiet. And then - “Dan?”

“Yeah. I’m here.”

“Did you get that?”

Dan winces. “No. I’m sorry, it’s not that I wasn’t listening - I just - um…” He trails off. 

“Oh,” Ross says, rather flatly. There’s a few seconds of tense silence, but then Ross’s voice turns warm and soft. “Aw, Danny, did I wear you out? Are you falling asleep?”

“Um, yeah, I guess I am.”

“I guess it is almost midnight. Maybe I should let you go? I have to get cleaned up here before everyone gets back in.”

Dan opens his mouth to say something halfway intelligent - maybe an apology - maybe a casual invite to have Ross drop by a few days after he gets back home, a promise of dinner and a movie night in. What comes out is, “Ross, I think we need to talk.”

Silence.

Dan grips the phone more tightly, his mouth still open, his brain scrambling to do something about the mess he’d just made. But nothing comes to him, and the silence growing louder and louder with every passing second.

Ross is the first to speak. “Danny?” he asks in a small voice that nearly breaks Dan’s heart. 

“Yeah,” manages Dan. He has to force the word out of his tight throat, to the effect of making his voice tight and irritated.

“I…what do you mean, we need to talk? Did I say something wrong?” 

“No! I shouldn’t have - that came out all wrong. Ross, it’s nothing, I swear. I didn’t mean to even bring it up - I should have just left it alone - ”

“What do you mean? What did I do?”

“I said it’s nothing.” Dan’s voice picks a great time to crack.

“Danny,” Ross sounds like he’s almost in tears. “Babe, are we…are we okay?”

“We’re fine, Ross.”

“Did you not want to do - what we just did, on the phone like that? Did I pressure you? Did I go too far?”

Dan inhales sharply, raking a hand through his hair. “No, God, of course not. It’s not you, or something you did.”

“Okay,” Ross says, soft and quiet and strained. He’s waiting for Dan to elaborate. 

Dan feels like his own stupidity is beyond explanation. “I think - maybe I just need sleep. I don’t feel like myself. I’m being stupid and it’s just - it’s not - fuck. Have a good night, Ross. ”

“Dan, no,” Ross says, his voice ragged. “Don’t leave - not like that - hold on, I - oh, shit - ”

Dan’s hands are trembling. He hears Ross rushing about, hears the sound of a door slam, then Ross says, “Fuck. They’re home. I have to - ”

“Yeah, I know.”

“I’ll call you back?”

“It’s okay. I’ll be asleep. Hang out with your friends, have a good time for me, okay? Goodnight, Ross.”

Dan doesn’t go to bed. He cleans himself up, gets halfway dressed, and curls up in a miserable ball on the couch. 

Alone with his self-deprecating thoughts, Dan’s sensitive soul shrivels. _No wonder every relationship you ever had turns to shit. You do this every fucking time. Even when things are going great, you have to fuck it all up and ruin it for yourself._

Dan grits his teeth and forces himself to stand in a cold shower until the physical discomfort eclipses everything else and he‘s able to function like an adult again.

Before he goes to bed, he carefully marks off another X on his calendar, inching closer to the stupid heart with a smiley face he’d drawn on the date Ross was due back home. He touches it with a finger and makes himself feel glad that Ross is surrounded by people who love him, people that won’t let him feel as lonely tonight as Dan does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone curious, Spongeknob Squarenuts is indeed a real video on Pornhub. Have fun.


	5. Chapter 5

Dan’s phone goes off sometime past one-thirty in the morning.

Normally, his phone is off at this hour - but normally, he’d be sleeping. Dan’s not much of a night owl. But tonight, sleep seemed a million miles away. 

Dan had spent the last few hours wandering aimlessly between his bedroom and the living room sofa, his thoughts whirling slowly around his exhausted brain. He’d worked himself into a pulsing headache that was still booming behind both his eyes.

He’d been here before. Too many fucking times. 

Dan’s smart enough to see the patterns in his life, in his relationships. He always does this - he gets worked up over something small, bottles it up, and avoids the potential conflict rather than dealing with it outright. And then it either leads to a blow-up or, more commonly, to the other party being so put off by his inability to communicate that they just leave.

Now, Dan stares at Ross’s name on his phone screen, desperately thinking about what he should say and mentally rehearsing the appropriate tone. Should he be sheepish? Casual, like he’d forgotten what happened earlier? Brush it off and blame his odd reaction earlier on stress?

Dan shakes his hair out of his face and sets his jaw. For once, he needs to do the right thing - he needs to deal with the consequences of his actions. Ross doesn’t deserve to be condescended to by Dan trying to fake his way through the confrontation. And he doesn’t deserve to feel guilty for Dan being a big crybaby over unfounded and unwarranted jealousy.

Dan picks up the call. “Hello?”

Ross doesn’t even tease him for the way he answers the phone like he always does, or do any of his usual jokes. He doesn’t put on an exaggerated accent or pretend to be a telemarketer or do any of the things Dan hadn’t realized how much he loved until now. He just says, “Hi.” 

Dan’s heart twists at Ross’s raw, small voice. He swallows and grips his leg with his free hand. “Ross, are you okay?”

“Did I wake you up?”

“You first.”

“No, of course I’m not okay. Did I wake you up?”

Dan’s stomach sinks lower. “No. I couldn’t sleep.”

“Me neither.” Ross pauses. “Well, I didn’t really try. I just…you know.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

More silence.

Finally Dan asks, “Are you alone?”

“Yeah. I’m out back. Everyone’s asleep. Why?”

“I don’t know. It was a dumb question.” Dan doesn’t know why he’s picturing Ross snuggled up on the couch between Jared and Holly. It’s past two AM, and Dan can’t hear any background noise. And it’s not like Ross wouldn’t leave the room to make a phone call.

“Are you still mad at me?”

God, Dan could have never imagined Ross sounding so meek. “Ross, I wasn’t mad at you.”

“But you really seemed mad.”

“I could never be mad at you, okay?” Dan’s chest aches. “I love you, Ross.”

“Okay,” Ross says softly, still unsure. “Okay. I love you too. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, of course.”

It still seems awkward, over-careful. Dan feels like they’re both tip-toeing around, testing the waters.

Ross breaks the silence this time, taking the plunge. “So do you wanna tell me why you were upset earlier?”

It sounds so fucking _stupid_ when Dan imagines saying it out loud. He takes a deep breath and sits on the couch to stop his restless legs from pacing. “It’s honestly nothing big,” he begins. “And it really is me, not you, like I said. It’s really dumb. I’m over it now and I’m sorry I made you worry.”

“You can tell me anything,” Ross says, so softly for him. Dan can tell he’s trying to hide how upset he really is, but the way his accent is creeping in gives it away. “If something makes you upset I want you to be able to talk about it. I care about you, Danny. I want to help if I can. And I don’t want to go to sleep without knowing what happened and making sure you’re really okay.”

Dan’s hand tightens on his thigh. Ross’s bewildered sweetness and empathy makes this even harder. But behind all that affection, Ross is stubborn as a mule, and Dan knows he won’t let this go without getting some sort of answer. And he deserves to know. So Dan takes another deep breath, opens his mouth, and blurts, “Are you and Jared…”

Ross waits a beat. “Are we what?”

“Are you - you know - together?”

“Together?” Ross echoes.

“Like - dating. Or…” Dan flushes and can’t finish, but he thinks Ross knows what he means.

There’s another long silence, and it hurts Dan’s sensitive soul. He’s rigid, tense, waiting for Ross to say _yes_ and then soothe the burn with some stuff about how it’s okay, how he still loves Dan, of course…

But all Ross says, in a faintly hurt voice, is “Dan…”

Dan bites his lip and quickly rushes to damage control. “I know it’s not my business, I know you’re poly, that’s why I said it was stupid of me to - ”

Ross cuts him off. “Is that why you were mad? Did I say something that made you think…”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, okay, I told you. It’s not like we’re - it’s not like I don’t want you to be happy, Ross. I know you and I aren’t - that you’re, you’re into dating multiple people. I’m not upset about that. I - ”

“Wait, hold on. Dan, what were you going to say?”

“What do you mean?” Dan plays dumb.

“You and I aren’t what?”

“Um.” Dan doesn’t know how to phrase it. _Serious_ isn’t the right word - he’s very serious about Ross. “I meant that we’re not, exclusive?”

“That doesn’t mean I just fuck all my friends.” There’s an edge to Ross’s voice now and it makes Dan wince. 

“I know.”

“So why did you think I’m dating Jared?”

“You…I mean, he’s dating Holly already, and… I know the two of you are really close? You kissed once - and I know that he’s - bi or pan or however he phrases it - ”

“So I just fuck anyone that’s available, just because it’s convenient? And Jared will just be willing because he’s into guys? And yeah, I kissed him like five years ago. And it was a _joke_. Like when I gave Arin that hickey.”

“No! Ross, no, that’s not what I meant! I didn’t think of you guys - actually having sex or anything, not that you shouldn’t if you want to, but maybe, I don’t know.”

“You really think I’d just fly up to Seattle to get a new boyfriend and not say a fucking word to you about it?”

“Well…no? Maybe you hadn’t seen each other in a long time and decided to start dating, or something else happened in the heat of the moment.”

“What the _fuck_ , Dan.”

Dan sucks in a breath. Ross has never sounded this upset. It feels like something crawling around in his stomach, clawing at his insides. 

Static bursts down the line, like Ross is moving around, maybe shoving himself to his feet. “You really thought I’d do that to you.”

Dan hesitates, confused. “Well - ”

“Well, fuck.” There’s more rustling, and Dan catches the sound of Ross drawing a deep trembling breath, like he’s struggling not to cry.

He’d really fucked this up. God, he’d fucked this up. “Ross, I’m sorry. I just, don’t understand. I don’t think it would be wrong if you _did_ date him. I don’t own you.”

“You have no fucking idea how I feel about you, do you?”

Dan has no idea how to answer. He closes his eyes and wracks his brain, coming up with nothing.

Ross goes on, his voice choked and in full Aussie drawl now. “You and me, we’re not just - fuckbuddies, or friends with benefits. I’m not fucking casual about you. I’m fucking in love with you, Dan, I thought you knew that.”

“I do know that. I just also know that you can love other people.”

“Yeah, obviously! But keeping it a secret is still fucking cheating!”

“I - ”

“If I wanted to fuck somebody else, or date somebody else,” Ross cuts him off. “Not that I do, by the way. But if I did, I wouldn’t go behind your back. That’s not me. That’s not who I am.”

“I know,” Dan says, meekly. “Of course you wouldn’t.” He feels horribly selfish. “I didn’t know how I should…I‘ve never been in a relationship like this before. Arin said that we should talk about our, you know, rules for the poly thing, but I brushed him off.”

“Rules?”

“Yeah. You know, like, what we should do if we like somebody or what we can do with other people…I just thought, that I’m lucky enough to have you just as we are. I didn‘t want you to think I’m trying to stop you from seeing other people if you want just because I get jealous.”

Three beats of silence, as long as eternity.

“I’m such a fucking idiot,” Ross groans, seemingly apropos of nothing.

“What?”

“I thought you just _knew_ …I don’t…I’m not good at this, maybe. I don’t usually date other people.”

“But you and Holly are - ”

“She’s had other partners. But she’d never date someone new without fully discussing it with me first. And neither would I. But I’ve never had to. I need to be in love with someone to sleep with them and I - I’ve never fallen in love with anyone other than Holly, besides you. I would never just go off for two weeks without saying anything to hook up, or go on dates. I wouldn’t sneak around on you, okay? I thought that was obvious. But that’s just because I’m married to a poly person. You didn’t know and I never even tried to tell you. It‘s my fault.”

“Oh, Ross.” Dan feels himself tear up but he fights it back. “It’s not your fault. I just…I wanted to be open-minded. I love you no matter what.”

“There’s nothing between me and Jared. Never has been. And if there was, you would know before anything happened.”

“And I’d try to be happy for you,” Dan finishes, “because anyone who can make you happy should be okay with me.”

“No!” Ross groans. “That’s not how it works. If you’re not comfortable with it, it doesn’t fucking happen.”

“But I shouldn’t be jealous or sad. If I am, it’s my problem, not yours.”

“Quit it with this _should_ bullshit. If something is going to make you even a little bit sad, I don’t want it anymore.”

“That seems a little one-sided,” Dan protests.

“Too bad. I love you so much it hurts, Danny, and obviously I need to work on showing you that.“ 

“You do. You always do. You make me feel amazing, Ross.”

“I can do better,” Ross insists, stubborn as ever. “You’ll see.”

“I look forward to it. And I love you too.”

“Love you more.”

“Doubt it.”

“Don’t fight me, you know I’ll win.”

“We’re not really gonna do this, are we?”

The sound of Ross’s tinkly fairy laughter makes all the tension leave Dan’s body at once. He sinks deep into the sofa and closes his eyes. He can almost feel Ross beside him - Ross, with his impossibly warm body like a little furnace in Dan’s bed, the way his elfin face is totally devoid of mischief when he sleeps, making him look like an actual angel. 

“So hey, I’m gonna come home on Monday,” Ross says suddenly, breaking Dan’s reverie.

“Monday?” Dan frowns. “I thought it was Thursday.” He should know - he had the dates all marked off in his calendar.

“It was. But I’m coming on Monday now.”

Dan sits bolt upright as it really sinks in. “You are? But - what about Holly?”

“Holly’s a big girl, Dan. She can handle a two hour flight by herself. Jared can drive her to the airport. He was gonna drive us both, anyway.”

“I feel bad, though.”

“Why?”

“Because this is supposed to be your time off.”

“It’ll still be time off, really. I’m coming back early to see _you_ , not to work.”

“But you see me all the time.”

“I just bought my ticket online, there are no buts. What, don’t you want to see me in two days instead of five?”

“Of course I do,” Dan protests. “I miss you so much. I just don’t want to take you away from your friends.”

“They live in Seattle, not Hong Kong. It’s easy to visit. Plus, they’re gonna be here in May, and that’s like, three days away.”

“Three days.” 

“Like three weeks then, okay, Mister Time Police.”

“Mister Time Police,” Dan repeats, and then snorts. “What does that even mean? And it’s six weeks ‘til May.”

Ross sighs and snorts at the same time and ends up sounding like he’d farted. “Listen, Danny. The point is, you’re not allowed to feel guilty or mope around. I’m coming, and you can’t do anything about it and you better be ready for me.”

“I’ll prepare my butthole,” Dan answers promptly, meaning it as a joke, and then almost chokes on his own tongue as he realizes the context of saying that to Ross is a little different from saying it to Arin, especially given - recent conversations.

Ross immediately bursts into his trademark cackle as Dan’s face turns bright red. Ross laughs for a solid two minutes straight, until he runs out of breath and gives Dan a chance to speak.

“I’m tired, okay?” is Dan’s defense. “It’s late and I’m tired and I don’t know what I’m saying.”

Ross gasps for air, sounding like he’s choking to death. Dan, flustered, squeezes his eyes shut and plows onward to safer topics. “Um, so, what time will your flight be in?”

“Dan, I can’t think of stuff like that when right now. I’m thinking about your butthole.”

“Ross!”

“Oh, my God, you brought it up, okay, it’s your fault.”

“You know what it was - it was because I was watching a Game Grumps compilation thing, you know, like a good fan-made Best Of, and one time I said to Arin - ”

“No, no, don’t talk about Arin when I’m thinking about your butthole. I don’t want those tracks in my brain to cross.”

“That’s not how a brain works.”

“ _You_ don’t know. Mine might.” 

“Anyway,” Dan sighs with exaggerated exasperation, “do you want a ride from the airport?”

“Are you free?

“Ross, that’s why I asked you what time your flight was.”

“Oh, right. It’s, hmmm…just before three.”

“Shit. I don’t know if I’ll be back from the meeting by then. I was hoping it was an early flight.”

“That’s okay, I’ll just Uber it. Are you still working for a bit after that or are you gonna come right home?”

Dan looks at his calendar. “I could come right home.”

“Could?”

“Well, I will if you’ll be there.”

“I have your key, I could come straight there. Do you have milk?”

Dan smiles. “I could procure some milk.”

“ _Procure_? Are you gonna go out and milk a goat or something?”

“Procure just means to put a little effort in to get something.”

“Oh. Holly wants us to have a goat.”

“Does she.”

“Yeah. If we had a goat, and I milked it, would that be weird?”

“A little bit, Ross. Mostly because if you only have one goat, I’d be suspicious about what exactly you’re pulling on to make milk come out.”

“Well, of course I meant we’d have two,” Ross sounds aggrieved. “I know what lactation is and how mammals work.”

The sheer ridiculousness of the situation suddenly hits Dan all at once, and he laughs. Just like that, they had slipped right back into their usual banter. Dan feels light enough to float - and sleepy enough to pass out right here, curled up on his couch like a cat with his cold feet wedged under the edge of a cushion. 

“I love you,” he says to Ross for the millionth time. “I love you and I miss you and I can’t fucking wait to see you. And I hate to cut this short, but I’m super sleepy.”

Ross responds with a yawn, right on cue. “I love you too,” he says. “And yeah, it’s late for you. Go to bed, Danny. I’ll text you in the morning.”

“Say hi to everybody for me,” Dan adds, a little sheepish. He feels almost like he should apologize to Jared, which is stupid, because Jared had had no idea that Dan was ever so bitter toward him. Nor had they ever been anything but the most casual of acquaintances. 

“Sure,” Ross says, pleased.

“And maybe when they come down in May, we can all hang out. If I get to know them, and you ever want to visit again, maybe we could go up together.”

“We’ll definitely hang out, but I dunno if we’ll have time to go up there again. I wanted to go home this year.”

“Oh,” Dan frowns. That would likely mean another two whole weeks apart - the flight to Australia wasn‘t one to take for a casual weekend visit. He sighs and curls up more tightly. “Cool,” he offers muzzily. “I’ll miss you, but I know you’ll have fun.”

“Actually, I kind of hoped you’d come with me.”

“To Australia?”

“Why not? My parents would love to meet you.”

The significance of this is not lost on Dan. Fireworks burst inside of him and he nearly gets dizzy with how many different emotions burst through him at once. “I - you - really? Ross…I…oh, wow.”

Ross listens to him stammer, then cuts him off by saying airily, “We’ll talk about that more when I see you, okay?”

“Sure,” Dan says faintly. “Yeah, okay.”

Ross blesses him with another fairy laugh. “Goodnight, Dan.”

“’Night, Ross.”

Dan rolls onto his side after they hang up with a deep sigh of contentment. He’s asleep in seconds, his phone slipping from his hand onto the floor, his lips still curved in a faint smile.

**

Ross’s car is in his driveway when Dan gets home from work on Monday. 

Dan gets out of his car still singing along to the Smashing Pumpkins song that had been playing on the radio, feeling like he’s on top of the world. The wait was over, and so was today’s long meeting, and he has a whole evening to relax and enjoy Ross’s company.

Dan expects to find Ross in front of the TV, watching something on Netflix out of the corner of his eye as he sketches on his mini Cintiq. When Ross isn’t anywhere to be seen, Dan’s sure he’ll find him in the kitchen, trying to cook - contrary to what people might think, from the way Ross appeared to live off of beer, cheese and milk, he could cook and liked doing so, especially for Dan. But he’s not in the kitchen, either. Puzzled, Dan looks at the half-bathroom in the front hall before concluding that Ross is nowhere on the main level. 

Dan smiles to himself as he heads up the stairs. Probably Ross had fallen asleep. Ross always got tired and a little grouchy on planes. The tumult of disembarking at LAX didn’t help, and neither did trying to get a ride from the airport to Dan’s house. Dan makes sure his footsteps are light as he makes his way down the hallway to his bedroom, though the door is shut tight. It would be nice if he didn’t wake Ross up, if he could just slip into bed next to him and cuddle up for a peaceful nap with his boyfriend.

He turns the knob and slips inside like a cat, stealthy, quiet - and then he stops dead and stares, dumbstruck.

It was like he’d stepped into another world. The rest of the house is bright and airy; in here, the curtains are drawn and the light is a flickering golden-red glow from what seems to be at least fifty tealight candles, their flames fluttering in the breeze from the door. And Ross is lying on top of the covers, nearly naked except for a pair of _very_ tight white briefs. 

“Hi,” Ross says breathily, blinking up at Dan.

“Oh, my God,” is Dan’s answer.

Ross laughs at Dan’s shocked face, stretching his arms over his head. His peachy-pale skin and soulful blue eyes are practically glowing in the candelight. His hair is a rumpled untidy mess and his hard cock is straining at the front of his underwear, and Dan can imagine what he’d been doing with himself as he waited.

It’s hard to notice anything but his gorgeous boyfriend, but eventually Dan glances around the room to find that Ross had apparently taken it upon himself to upend half his own house - Dan recognizes some of the candles and candle holders from Ross and Holly’s bedroom, as well as the centrepiece from his dining room table - for the sake of turning Dan’s rather plain bedroom into an unrecognizable romantic retreat. Maybe that description was a little generous, but Dan loves the way the candlelight makes everything look mysterious and alluring. 

Dan’s tongue feels stuck in place. Ross is so fucking beautiful like this - and it’s all for _him_ , for Dan to touch and kiss and lick and do whatever he pleased - Dan’s heart feels like it’s about to burst - and what comes out is, “Will Holly be mad that we’re using all your candles?”

Ross honks in amusement. “I’ll get them back in place before she gets home. I figured you’d have candles _somewhere_ , but it turns out you don’t. Who doesn’t have a single candle in their house? I mean, what would you do if there was an emergency?”

“Emergency? Like a power outage?”

“Well, yeah.”

“I have my phone? There’s a flashlight.”

“Well, what about the kind of emergency that’s more like, ‘I need to get a big dick up my ass right now but also I want to remind my boyfriend that he’s the best thing in the world but in a way that lets him know they’ll be romantic kisses and cuddles _after_ he fucks me so deep and good that I can’t walk right for a week?’”

“I - that’s a very specific emergency.”

“It’s the kind of emergency I’m having _right now,_ ” Ross huffs and crosses his arms. “Why are you still standing way over there? Why are your clothes still on?”

“Um,” Dan says, trying to tear his eyes away from Ross’s small hand rubbing himself through his underwear, his hips making furtive little upward thrusts. Dan’s suddenly aware that his own cock has been rapidly swelling since he’d opened the door. “I - I don’t know. Good question. Let me - oh, my God, _Ross_.”

Ross watches in amusement as Dan trips over himself trying to get his shirt off and his pants off at the same time. “I missed you so much, Dan, you don’t even know. I had to take super long showers and finger myself just to take the edge off, but I’m so spoiled by your giant dick that my fingers don’t even do it for me anymore.”

Vulgar words that might have once made Dan blush only roll over him now, leaving him hot and prickly all over. The visual is so lovely that he groans out loud. He thinks about Ross trying to be quiet as his small fingers pump in and out of his tight pink hole, maybe holding his hand over his mouth to stifle himself. Dan shoves his underwear down and off and climbs onto the bed. 

Ross preens and arches his back as Dan straddles him. “ _Yes_ , fuck, finally,” he moans as Dan runs his hands down Ross’s chest and stomach, following the slight curve of his waist out to his hips, and then across to meet around Ross’s cock. The underwear is cute - Dan likes Ross in white, and he loves to tease Ross through tight fabric - but Dan’s too impatient to tease. 

“Off,” he growls as he yanks them roughly down Ross’s thighs.

“Ooh,” Ross wriggles as his dick springs out. “Whatever happened to ‘I don’t go from zero to sixty anymore’?”

Dan makes a face at him and wraps his hand around Ross’s cock, stroking it languidly. He loves the feeling of it in his hand and the way his touch makes Ross’s mouth drop open. “I was already at about twenty or thirty all day today, knowing I’d get to see you.”

Ross blows out a breath, hips rolling in time with Dan’s hand. “That must have made the meeting pretty interesting. How did that go, anyway?”

“Ross, I can barely think straight right now, much less talk about work.”

“Point,” Ross concedes. “I was just making small talk, because _somebody_ is taking a million years to fuck me and I - _oh_ , fuck, fuck yes, okay, this works too.”

Dan had shoved himself suddenly down the bed, dropping to his elbows with his face right up against Ross’s gorgeous cock. He presses his freshly shaven cheek against the velvety shaft, allowing a moment to revel in Ross’s clear desperation, and then licks a line from the base to the tip. 

Ross moans to the ceiling and reaches down with both hands to grab Dan’s hair, pushing it away from Dan’s face. “Mmm, yeah, oh, Danny, your mouth feels so good on me.”

Dan closes his eyes and loses himself in the feeling. Ross is needy, even more so than usual, and he’s not being gentle. He yanks at Dan’s hair and thrusts up his hips, and Dan loves it - loves Ross taking what he wants, loves giving him the pleasure he craves. 

But it doesn’t last long. After what feels like barely a minute, Ross starts to whine, and he pushes Dan’s head down further.

Dan gets the hint and pushes one of Ross’s thighs up for better access. He’d been hesitant at first with this intimate act, but now he loves doing it almost as much as he loves giving head. His heart is pounding hard in his chest and his cock is throbbing between his legs.

At the first touch of his tongue, Ross cries Dan’s name, brokenly. Dan groans and flattens his tongue, licking in firm broad strokes. He can feel Ross clenching forlornly and it makes him so fucking hot to know how bad Ross wants something inside. He tries pointing his tongue and wriggling it past the tight rim - but Ross is too squirmy, and Dan in too much of a precarious position for it to work. It’s good enough to just move his tongue and lips, kissing, sucking, listening with delight to the cacophony of noise coming from Ross.

“Oh, fuck,” Ross says thickly, “Dan, I can’t wait, I want - I need - ”

Dan gives his ass a final lick and rises up on all fours, grasping blindly at the nightstand, fumbling for the bottle of lube. Ross grabs it from his hand. He pops the cap with a thumb and fills his palm, rubbing it haphazardly over Dan’s cock.

“You ready?” Dan asks him breathlessly. “Or do you want me to use my fingers?”

Ross shakes his head desperately. His reddened cock is leaking all over his belly and his silvery blue eyes are wild. “Fuck me, just put it in, come on, come on Danny please fuck me hard - ”

“Yeah,” Dan gasps, “fuck, yes, anything for you, want you so fucking much - ”

“Like this,” Ross tilts himself back even further, pulling his thighs toward his chest, “just like this - ”

Dan gets the angle right and slips the head in, just past the tight ring of muscle. They both moan at the same time. Ross’s toes curl and his chest heaves as he exhales slowly.

Dan gives him a moment to adjust before he starts to move, starting off gentle with shallow thrusts. He waits until Ross starts to respond, to move with him more easily, before he lets himself push in any deeper.

“Fuck me already,” Ross begs him. “Oh please, Dan, what are you waiting for?”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“As if you ever would,” Ross laughs. “Dan, come on, I want it _hard_.”

“Yeah?” Dan shifts his knees for better leverage. “Yeah, okay, I can do that.”

Ross’s eyes roll back into his head as Dan drives into him in one long smooth stroke, right to the hilt. A rosy blush spreads over his chest, like it always does when he’s worked up to the point of bursting with it.

“Oh, God,” he moans, grabbing at Dan’s biceps. “Oh God.”

“You can just call me Dan,” Dan answers smoothly, and Ross groans again, half in pleasure and half in amused disgust at the awful joke. 

But from then on, Dan doesn’t feel much like being joky. He feels more like he’s sinking deep into a primal place where the only thing that matters is the deep rhythm, the rocking motions of their bodies, the slick friction and heat of Ross so tight around him. Ross writhes and twists beneath him, his face red and damp with exertion. Every time Dan bottoms out, Ross clenches around him, and it’s driving Dan half out of his mind. Ross is gulping air between desperate moans, looking too beautiful to be of this earth. It’s some of the most passionate sex Dan’s ever had.

“Tell me,” Dan gasps out, shifting his hips and trying to angle his thrusts upward, “tell me when - ”

Ross’s moans suddenly grow sharp and double in volume. His eyes shoot open and focus on Dan’s face.

“Right there,” he gasps, unnecessarily. “Right fucking there, don’t lose it, don’t stop, give it to me, Danny, please - oh, _oh_ , fuck, _Dan!_ ” 

Dan had redoubled his effort, seeing the familiar look on Ross’s face - he’s close, real close, and Dan can’t wait to see it. There’s nothing hotter than Ross coming untouched, just from Dan’s cock in him.

And he gets his wish. Ross comes with a rough half-shout, half scream, spilling all over his own chest without being touched. He looks at the mess, wide-eyed, and then slumps bonelessly beneath Dan.

Dan carefully takes the base of his cock in his hand and eases himself out. He knows sometimes Ross is too sensitive after he comes - and with how worked up he is, Dan can come easily enough with maybe fifteen seconds of his own hand. 

But Ross whimpers and rolls over, reaching back with both hands to spread himself open.

“Please,” he moans into the pillow. “Come inside me, Dan, I want it so bad.”

Dan needs no further encouragement. Ross’s hole is gaping open, just the tiniest bit, but still - he’s stretched and opened up from Dan’s cock. Dan plunges himself back in and Ross takes him easily, a little less tight but still nice and snug. Ross is too weak to move or help Dan out, but it doesn’t matter - Dan fucks into him fast and hard, hands slipping on Ross’s sweaty back, his hair in his eyes, his mouth hanging open. 

It doesn’t take long to crash headlong into his own orgasm. It’s perfect - ecstasy and fireworks and sparks, all of the clichés, just like every time he got into bed with Ross. Dan likes to make it last, but this is a lost cause. He collapses on top of Ross as his dick pulses deep inside, filling him with spurt after spurt of come.

“Mmmf,” he groans into the back of Ross’s neck. He has just enough strength to roll to the side to get his weight off Ross’s back.

Ross turns back over, his hair all plastered to his sweaty forehead and a look of utter contentment on his face. His eyes peek open at Dan and he smiles. “I feel a lot better now,” he announces.

“Yeah?” Dan is still trying to catch his breath. He flops on his back and reaches out to lightly caress Ross’s arm. “That was - that was…”

“Amazing, right?” Ross finishes, gleefully. “I needed that. I’m gonna feel it tomorrow.”

“Does it hurt?”

Ross hums. “It’s like…” he begins slowly, waving a hand in the air. “Like the best sort of ache in the world. Like when you have a mosquito bite and you scratch it so hard that it hurts a bit but oh god it feels so _good_ to scratch it.”

Dan laughs out loud. His strength is coming back. “Such a romantic simile, Ross.”

“You’re still curious about trying it?”

It’s easy to answer confidently, when they’re both in that giddy, weird post-orgasm stage. Dan turns his head to meet Ross’s eyes and says, slowly, “Well - after the um, the toy experiment - I’m pretty curious, I can’t lie.”

Ross smiles with teeth and reaches around to grab a handful of Dan’s butt.. “Good. I can’t wait to plow this sweet ass.”

“Oh, my God.” Dan covers his face and laughs again. “Ross!”

Ross gives him a playful smack and a kiss on the forehead. “Next time,” he promises. Then he bounces to his feet and flits around the room, blowing out each of the candles with a great deal of spluttering noises. The haze of smoke from the extinguished wicks wraps around him. Dan props his chin up on his hand and watches him with a faint smile on his lips. 

“What?” Ross asks, turning around. “Safety is important, alright. I might accidentally fall asleep when I get back in bed and you can’t just leave candles burning everywhere. One time I was looking at these pictures once with Holly, like romantic Valentine’s Day ideas to surprise your partner with, and these people had candles _on the bed_ or like, these other people had draped bed sheets over the headboard and _weighted them down with candles_ and who wants that? Like you’re in the middle of getting fucked and you’re just focused on trying not to move too much so you don’t tip one and set yourself on fire.”

“I was just thinking that you’re too beautiful to be real,” Dan admits. 

“Alright, corn dog,” Ross waves a hand, but he looks pleased. He flops back onto the bed. “You know what, actually, that sounds delicious. I could eat a corndog right now.”

There’s a joke in there somewhere, but Dan’s brain is too muddled to think of it. He kisses Ross’s shoulder. “If you’re hungry, we could order something, or go out.”

“Let’s order something,” Ross answers immediately. “I don’t want to go anywhere and I don’t want to put clothes on.” He curls up against Dan. “Besides, now that _that’s_ out of my system, we should talk for a bit.”

“About the Australia trip?”

“Sure, yeah. But first - ” Ross cups Dan’s chin. “I’m sorry that I never stopped to actually talk to you about how our relationship works.”

“Not your fault,” Dan says immediately, embarrassed at how much he’d gotten wrong. “We both should have talked about it.”

“Still. I know you’re new to the poly thing. And I know I joke about Jared a lot, like how you and Arin sometimes joke with each other. I can see why you’d wonder if there was something more. I’m glad you were still willing to love me, and that you wanted to be open-minded - it means a lot - but I hope you know that you and Holly make me so happy that I don’t need or want to look anywhere else.”

Dan’s breath catches and he looks at Ross adoringly. “Ross, that’s so sweet.”

Ross beams and crinkles up his eyes. “I’ll work harder on communicating with you from now on, okay?”

“I’ll work on my jealousy issues. And on communication, too. I should have said something before you left.”

“We forgive each other, yeah?”

“Of course.” Dan trusts Ross completely - had always trusted Ross with his heart. His earlier worries seem so silly now. 

“Good,” Ross beams again. “Now, about Australia.”

“It sounds fun,” Dan says truthfully. “I want to see those, you know, the little - beaver-rats that you take selfies with.”

“Beaver-rats? You mean quokkas?” Ross giggles. “Of course we’d go out to Rottnest Island. You’ll love it.”

“Is there a hotel on the island?”

“Yeah, but we don’t have to stay in a hotel. We’ll just do a day trip.”

“Where will we stay? Somewhere in Fremantle?” Dan’s proud of his limited geography learned from Ross.

“My parents can put us up,” Ross says, slowly.

“Will they be okay with that? Do they…know about…us?”

Ross hesitates. “They know you’re more than a friend. But maybe they don’t know how serious we are. And maybe they should.”

Dan’s eyebrows lift so high he can feel them disappear into his hairline. “You mean it. You want to introduce me to your parents as - as your partner?” He’d thought maybe Ross had wanted to start slow - let him meet his family once, maybe for dinner, to make an impression. And _then_ , much later, open up the discussion as to just what was going on between them.

Ross looks shy, which is rare for him. “I wanted to…you know. It seems to me like it’s the next step? I mean - I want you to know - I want them to know - that this isn’t casual, like I said. I…I know you’re afraid of marriage, and that’s good ‘cause bigamy is illegal, but - I - I want you in my life forever, and that’s not hyperbole or anything.”

Dan feels like he’s been punched in the chest. His eyes grow wide.

Ross goes on, sheepish but hopeful. “I don’t want to scare you off…but…to me, you’re a part of my family, just as much as Holly is. I want you to come home with us for Christmas and come to Ireland with us to meet everyone else - they’d all love you so much, and I want to show you off so bad, because I still can’t believe both of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met love me back.”

Dan doesn’t realize he’s crying until he tastes the salt on his lips. There are no words to describe the way he feels, and maybe he doesn’t need any, because Ross’s eyes are full of understanding and love and everything Dan had ever dreamed of in a partner.

“I want that, too,” he whispers, thinking about how he could bring Ross to Jersey, thinking of how much his nephews would love Ross’s energy, how his mom would dote on him, how his dad would be bewildered and amused by Ross’s humour. “I - I’m going home for Passover soon. Maybe you could come with me. I’ve told everyone about you, but only Dana really knows how serious we are, I think. My parents - they know, but I think they - if I actually brought someone home, for the first time, they’d be - really fucking happy. And so would I.”

Ross surges forward, rolling on top of Dan and kissing him so hard that he takes Dan’s breath away. Dan slides his hand into Ross’s hair and deepens the kiss, taking control, clumsily trying to put all of the unsaid feelings into the gesture.

“Thought you didn’t like commitment,” Ross gasps into the kiss. He laughs his gremlin laugh, but his sapphire eyes are shining with sincerity, and when Dan looks into them he feels like he’s floating right up off the bed.

“I did say that, didn’t I?” Dan’s giddy. “Fuck that shit. Commitment is _awesome._ ” He buries his face in Ross’s neck and kisses him, openmouthed and clumsy. “Love you so fucking much, Ross.”

And he expects Ross to say it back, maybe with a little grin and a gentle poke at him for being such a sap - but instead Ross says, in a choked voice that Dan has never heard coming from him, “Love you too, Danny, fuck. Never gonna stop loving you.”

There had always been something that scared Dan about the concept of _forever_ \- even though there had been women he’d loved, and loved intensely at that. The love had always come with fear. Fear of getting his heart broken, of giving too much of himself away for good. Love - or what he’d thought was love - had always felt like control was slipping away from him, drowning in the lies and the insincerity and the monotony that followed the initial rush. It was a pattern. Dan would fall head over heels, and everything was good for a time - until the ground rushed up to meet him. 

But Ross is different. This is something new, something wonderful. And Dan isn’t afraid. 

Because this time, it doesn’t feel like falling, or drowning; instead, it feels just like coming home.


End file.
